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3” razor strap with all our names written on it. My wife had to force me to go to my mother’s funeral!

Couldn’t even use dang as a replacement word. She made my world the hell she was trying to keep me away from.

Asshole Intelligence is going to be the end of us!

60 years ago I came home from my first day at grade school afraid to tell my mother my teachers name was Mr Dam because I was sure I would get my mouth washed out with soap. ‘‘Twas rough times back long ago!

It’s the only water I drink. At most, I drink two or three bottles of water a year but I drink about 6 big cups of coffee a day so there’s my only water intake.

Yea but you’re still hungry for another car an hour later!

But I only go left. And no I don’t mean nascar left!

I’d have to go all the way back to my brother. The stupid sumbitch voted for trump!