[All these points apply to sex and to gender, so for ease of reading, I’ll just discuss gender]
Gender-exclusive groups are common in many societies, such as men-only and women-only social clubs and casual activity groups like a men’s bowling group or a women’s reading circle.
Sometimes this is de-facto, but sometimes this is enforced by rules or expectations, treating the club as a safe space for airing issues people have with other genders, or avoiding perceived problems with other genders.
I came across this old comment in a garbage subreddit by accident when researching. The topic is Men’s Sheds:
“Here’s the thing. No reasonable person has an issue with women having their own women’s activity groups. The annoying part is that whenever men try to do something similar, that’s a problem. Women either want them banished or demand entry, EVERY time.”
I think their claim is nonsense, grossly exaggerated at best. I also know of many counterexamples of men trying to get into women-only groups (as an extreme case, the Ladies Lounge of the Mona art gallery in Australia was taken to court for sex discrimination, with the creator claiming they would circumvent the ruling by installing a toilet). But nonetheless, I can understand why they feel this way, patriarchal social relations change how most people see men-exclusive spaces vs. women-exclusive spaces.
But my response to their claim is that, I am reasonable and I do have an issue with any group setting up places which discriminate based on gender. These safe places can form as a legitimate rudimentary form of protection, yes, but they maintain and often even promote sexism, and should all be challenged and turned into something better which serves the same purpose.
Of course, I’m limited by my own experiences and perspective, so I’d love to hear your opinions on the topic.
Bonus video: “Why Do Conservative Shows All Look the Same? | Renegade Cut” - a discussion about fake man-caves and sexism.
What is a legitimate reason though? Consider…
You seem to be saying that a legitimate reason would be a need to escape from people hitting on you or the equivalent. How about if you just want to hang out with people of your own gender? Is that not OK? Men do not have the “same experience” in mixed gender groups. Socializing in a single gender group is different from in a mixed gender group and both are important. You are dismissing the need for men to socialize among themselves on the basis that they might make an important decision that should have included people outside that group. Now I understand that this has historically been (and in some cases continues to be) an issue with work-based men’s-only clubs/outings etc, and it should be addressed in that context. But it’s not a valid reason to reject the existence of male only groups or spaces in their entirety, is it?
Case in point: I sing in a male voice choir. I enjoy it not just on a musical level, but also for the fact that it is a male space. It’s not about hating women, or having prejudices about women. It’s not actually about women at all, which is kind of my point. I have enough women in my life, what I need is to be around men sometimes. Nor is it about “we want to address a typical male problem” either, unless you consider difficulty with socializing to be a typical male problem, which, yeah, arguably it is in some cases. But guys just like doing things with guys sometimes. It’s a different dynamic and it’s good for us.
I’m not talking about friend groups, just groups that are open to the public. Friend groups are OK in whatever constellation you wish.
Your choir has a good reason to be men only, since that creates a certain sound.
It gets tricky when the point of the group or club is something not related to gender. I don’t think an all-female board game club that is open to the public but only lets women join would be OK. Personally I think you can have your meetings for only people of your gender when you organize them only for yourself. But as soon as you do something publicly, you don’t get to say “everybody can come except group X” without a good reason.
That goes for men and women, I’m also not a fan of “xy only for girls” clubs without a good reason.
I would enjoy some male-only spaces. I used to play an MMO game and we all got on great in our guild, right up until a woman joined. Suddenly the banter started having edges to it, people were putting eachother down to try and gain status to/for the woman.
Not in any way her fault, she wasnt playing favourites or flirting or teasing anyone, she was just playing the game like everyone else, but the vibes starting turning.i didnt enjoy that.
I’m not gonna have an opinion, but I’d like to say that it sounds harsh to exclude someone based on other people being weird, no?
I don’t know if you need a male-only space or a normal-person space (probably the latter).
That being said, I could maybe see how people may not want to make certain jokes in front of certain people, but if youre just having fun and youre not racist or something um idk