A coworker who was the reason why I was moved to another department (she is friends with the manager) changed departments herself and now I sometimes have to work with her.
First time she saw me at her new position she greeted me as nothing happened, as she wasn’t the reason why I was moved laterally. I replied with a non effusive hi.
I don’t engage in non job related conversations with her, if I have to work with her I just ask her in a neutral voice where is what I need and proceed to do my job. Otherwise I avoid her because I don’t trust her. I don’t have to work with her whole shifts or every day, which is good.
The incident I mentioned on my first paragraph happened 2 years ago and I still remember it enough not to like that person. I don’t know if more mature folks would have already forgotten about it but I cannot. Am I holding an unhealthy grudge? I mean I’m happy if I don’t have to see her.
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Don’t trust internet strangers to weigh in on this. Talk to a therapist or someone you trust to thoroughly consider the details that you haven’t (and shouldn’t) share here. Without the details, we’re just guessing, but even then a single post-and-reply exchange is not a good substitute for a full IRL conversation.
I wish you could somehow send this to every single reddit account as a private message replacing the word this with the word everything. I don’t use reddit anymore, but they need to hear it.
Holding a grudge means this person lives rent free in your head. It’s a waste of energy. If you have to work with this person, fine. Be professional, nothing more.
Live your life and don’t think about this person.
If it’s about what they did, unless it was premeditated and personally directed at you, yeah the grudge is unhealthy
If it’s about the way they do what they do, nah you want to avoid their bullshit, it’s not really a grudge