How do I join, I am so frustrated now because you are wasting my time. First it says I need a invite, then I think ok maybe if I create an account on lemmy.world. Then I do that and try but am being asked for a instance. All I know is I am trying to join https://lemmy.world/c/autism but now very much suspecting that this community will be unmoderated and hostile as well given how many tricks you have been using. Communities are either unmoderated or moderated but apply unwritten rules.
That’s probably your app’s UI being more confusing than it needs to.
Your account is on lemmy.world (at least the one you posted this from).
You can just open it in a browser and go to https://lemmy.world/
I find the web version less confusing than most client apps.