Before we became parents the concept of “Mental Load” was largely theoretical as both of us were easily able to manage the everyday logistics of our own lives. With children coming into the equation everything suddenly becomes a juggling exercise - at least that was our experience.
I’ve read in several publications that the mental load or, to use a different wording, the organisation of everyday logistics is often predominantly done by women/mothers.
We try to share all tasks as evenly as possible. We both work approximately the same amount of time. We both earn similar wages. We share costs on a 50:50 basis. We both took the exact same amount of parental leave. However, the logistics of everyday life have, without even trying to aim for that, drifted more towards my wife.
How do you go about sharing this task? What kind of technical/IT solutions do you use to remain on the same page? Is it even necessary to share this task or are there others ways to “specialise” in certain areas of being a parent?
So much good advice here. I came to say things that felt important and I actualy just read through the comments and learned.
I’d add just one important thing: it is a constant struggle, but it is should not be a fight between partners. It is so easy to just blame the special other and pick a fight, but it is wrong, plain wrong, not only morally wrong. No matter the composition of the family, even without kids, taking care is a job that we collectively give too little credit to, yet it is THE most necessary, in the many forms caring can take.
You writing this post is already a lot of care, am I right? Keep this up <3