Greenland says ‘no, thanks’ to Trump’s US hospital boat
www.theguardian.com
Leaders of both Denmark and Arctic territory rebuff US president’s claim that islanders are ‘not being taken care of’
  • MoonMelon@lemmy.mlEnglish
    44·
    2 days ago

    If that’s true the sequence of events will be something like:

    • Trump demands the ship be sent immediately because he doesn’t understand what “dry dock” is.
    • Someone in the chain of command who understands how bad that is uses proper channels to politely call for a small delay.
    • That officer is immediately fired. Right-wing media starts rumor they are a trans immigrant when a document from 2012 is found where they listed pronouns.
    • The officer is replaced with a 26-year-old toadie who has a background in podcasting about flat earth.
    • Toadie immediately sends the ship.
    • Ship sustains heavy damage from corrosion because it wasn’t painted yet, or some shit.
    • The hospital ship spends 90 days sitting off-shore in Greenland. During this time it treats a handful of patients who, it later turns out, got paid to be there and aren’t even citizens of Greenland.
    • Ship returns to USA to actually do the refit, where it turns out the damage is now catastrophic.
    • Jared Kushner receives contract to build replacement ship, named “USS TRUMP 12” because we have 11 other USS TRUMPs.
    • The money changes hands.
    • The ship is never built.
    • This is only reported by Common Dreams.

    edit: fuck it, made it more elaborate.