No one, because the only people in my life either wouldnt give a fuck, or would try to basically turn it into a competition (“Oh, you have X? I have X too, only worse. And also Y.”).
So I internalize it and push it all down into a tight little ball in my lower abdomen, until the day comes where it becomes a cancer and consumes me.
I hope that changes for you at some point.
Well past the halfway mark and it never has, so I doubt it ever will.
Do you know where that tight little ball in your lower abdomen should go? Down the shitter. You don’t have to internalise it. You are your own best friend.
What else am I supposed to use that blasted appendix for, if not this?
Nobody, because I’m afraid to upset/burden anyone by making my problems theirs. It’s caused issues in the past for me so I think my best bet will be finding a therapist lmfao
I for one certainly hope your situation changes for the better, therapist or otherwise.
I reach out to Billy Bong Thorton and Wesley Pipes because they really help alot!
My therapist, provided I reach the breaking point at a convenient time when we have a session scheduled.
I feel extemely lucky to have a crew of guys that I’ve known for 45-35yrs…school chums, lifelong friends. We don’t hesitate to talk to eachother. Best feature…we aren’t afraid to say “love you” upon departure, etc…I believe this is extremely rare for a bunch of hetero/CIS guys.
That’s impressive. How did you manage to stay in contact for so long? Hoping my friend group can stay similarly close, although I can’t say for sure. (Coming from a teenager.)
Core of the group stayed pretty local. People went to college within a 3 hour radius. People got jobs close to our home town. We just kept hanging out. It also is important that there is a group of women that are from the class behind us, '87. Two of them are wives of my BFFs.
Depends on your life situation. I have a small group like this, but I met them randomly after high school, but I still talk to a few high school friends on occasion.
I also moved across the entire country after high school, which didn’t help with keeping in touch. Once you find the right group, especially now it’s super easy to stay in touch through the internet or just phones.
Yeah, I guess it really depends. A decent chunk of my school friends have ended up emigrating or going to university halfway across the world. The Internet is neat but timezones are still fucky.
Nobody. Everytime I’ve reached out in the past has never worked out. Haven’t gone outside in about 5 years. I go to therapy, but 1 hour a month isn’t enough to even scratch the surface of what I’m dealing with let alone anything new that happened between visits. I feel like a burden to my girlfriend and family (dont even have much of that left anymore.) And I’m too far gone at this point to make friends. If they won’t invite me to game night over steam, why would I think they’d let me trauma dump on them or cry on their shoulder? Even typing this comment feels like a pointless cry for attention.
“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.”
- Aldous Huxley
Same, dude, same.
You guys turn to people when things get rough?
I guess when things get tough I’ll turn to my older brother for support, one hug and everything is alright. But before him I was alone
I’m super lucky to have a couple of close friends who I know I can call on. When my dad was dying of cancer at the end of last year, they both took turns coming over so I had company as a distraction 3-4 nights a week. After he passed they even took time off from their jobs and traveled out of town to his funeral while refusing my attempts to pay for their hotel rooms. I’m eternally grateful for them and I don’t know how I would’ve made it through that without them.
Man, those are real friends right there. I’m sorry for your loss.
My bartender. They’re great listeners. Sometimes you just need to get it all out to someone that listens. They don’t need to provide advice or anything.
No one. Tired of having people turn their back or outright slapping my hands away. Even had two therapists forget about me, which was fucking fabulous when I’d just been assessed by the crisis team as high risk for suicide.
Just want someone to relax and play games with, the ask for company has never been a high bar. Easier to have a circle of friends that is empty than be continually forgotten or excluded.
My friends. I have a wonderful small group who at this point know when I need to talk, or when I need a distraction, or when I just need to sit in quiet but still want company. I’m fairly confident that I wouldn’t be here without them.
Nobody. I have to live in such a way that I don’t reach that point… including reaching out to others well before the breaking point.
Im not even sure if I have a breaking point anymore, because I could swear if anything it’s behind me already. Im already broke.
Do you think you carry on in said broken state, or do you feel OK now that said events (which caused the broken state) are behind you?
I think humans can adapt to almost anything. Maybe one day all the walls will come crashing down but for now, they haven’t.
Nobody. I just keep it to myself and keep doing what I’m doing. Nobody cares how dudes in their 30s feel unless you’re paying them to care.
My brother (in his 30s) calls me up when he needs support, and I do genuinely care. I’m sorry you don’t have someone. That must be terrible. 😔
It’s worrying how many of the answers are “nobody”. Not surprising based on Lemmy’s main demographic being men in their 20s-30s, but damn.
I freshly graduated secondary school and still have a tight-knit friend group that I can lean on. Even as we drift apart, I hope I can still maintain this type of support network in the future, although I’m not too optimistic.
Good luck in keeping your group together.
- from someone who never really any friends due to how weird I am/almost enigmatic interests (if I may say so myself)
All the friendships I’ve had have died away. At this point it’s not even worth the trouble. Have fun while it still lasts.
