Coworker loves extensive code reviews flagging every slight deviation from her preferred patterns but literally cries if pressed on why the change is necessary.

Constantly criticizing and nitpicking but can’t actually point to a firm technical reason. “I just don’t feel comfortable…”

Just posturing to present an appearance of technical authority. Tries to badmouth and backstab challengers, doing more harm to herself than anyone else in the process.

Probably projecting, but I’ve heard enough about her family and upbringing to believe it’s internalized abuse. At the time she was moving back in with her parents , which I think was her falling back into the clutches of her abuser, exacerbating her feelings of vulnerability.

Just trying to be assertive snd protect her autonomy. I did my best to get along and shielded her from consequences.

But I don’t nearly have the energy to deal with it every day. Switched teams. Life is better. Hope she’s found her footing.