I called it quits with my boyfriend today on a video call. It had been brewing for a while, and the breakup was very amicable. Instead of feeling angry or sad, I actually feel fresh and excited. I think it’s because we got into the relationship very quickly, and I never really got the chance to explore or “play the field.”
(Male 37)
When I finally broke up with my first love in ninth grade after having endured her cheating on me with my best friend for two years - which I was aware of but didn’t know how to deal with - I felt worthless, stupid, ugly, like a failure and I wanted to kill myself. Did some real damage to my hands to numb the pain. Even now, 25 years later, the whole ordeal still hurts mentally and physically. I know she was an incredibly horrible human being and I shouldn’t punish myself for it, but that’s easier said than done.
I’ve also broken up and got divorced about five years ago. We were together for eight years and married for four. This time, it was kind of amicable - we just had to go our separate ways even though we loved each other still - but it still felt horrible. I felt like puking for days after. It also shoved me into moderately severe depression and now I’m on meds for it.
I wish I didn’t have feelings.