Last night I had a hookup for the first time. I told the guy I wanted him to use a condom, which offended him because he was like, “Why do I need to use one if you already have an IUD? Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?” I told him I just don’t know him that well. Either way it was fine in the end, he put it on and it was a fine night. Now I’m thinking, was I being a pushover?
No method of birth control is 100% effective (except abstinence) so it’s a good idea to use multiple methods simultaneously
The fact that he didn’t do it by himself tells you he did not wear it with any previous partners who didn’t make him. So yes, that puts his likelihood of STD rather high.
You were 100% right to make him wear one.
Anyone who says “we don’t need to use a condom” is someone who you should 100% use a condom with
Not at all. IUDs are 99% effective (at preventing pregnancy), but if you don’t wanna risk that 1% chance, that’s your decision.
Condoms also protect against STIs.
If you want them to put a condom on before they have sex with you they shouldn’t be arguing. They should either respect your boundaries, or go find someone else with boundaries that are more compatible with their desires.
IUDs are 0% effective vs. STDS. They wil prevent pregnancies 99% of the time. Let’s do some homework here.
That’s what I meant, I just expressed it poorly.
Your limits, your rules, safety first politeness second!
“Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy”
Jesus what an ignorant thing to say. Having an STD doesn’t make you a bad person or anything, it’s not a reflection on him if he did have an STD, it’s just a medical situation that requires certain precautions. So if your hooking up, then you inherently younever know so you HAVE to be safe.
Glad it wasn’t a big problem and you had fun, but what an ass.
yeah that would have ended the evening right there.
“Do I look like some STD-ridden guy?”
“Well, STD-ridden guys tend to refuse condoms. That’s how they got their STDs. So you tell me.”
you get to choose what goes into your body, nobody else.
I probably would have left, a comment like that would have killed the mood. He does know he could have an STD and not even know he has one (or two)… right? He is the type that is just living on a wing and a prayer. No thanks!
You can have STIs without knowing it. STIs can kill you. No, you are not overreacting
Condom’s always on. What I have been told in sex-ed back in the days: you need to be in an exclusive relationship with your partner for over a month, then both take a blood test for STI. Only if you come both clean, show each other your test results, only then you’re good to go without condoms.
If a guy ever tells you he doesn’t like condoms, it feels bad or whatever BS excuse like that, you tell him to:
- Read the fucking manual on the box to learn how to put it on correctly
- Get the right size for his dick
Condoms don’t feel bad if you wear the correct size and put it on correctly.
… Wait, there’s different sizes? I’ve literally never seen a size on the box. Though admittedly I don’t think I’ve ever read the fine print.
Size information is actually not very clearly indicated. I will admit it’s not so simply knowing what size you need. The gritt (dick circumference) is the information to look for, it should be indicated on the box in millimeters, at least it is were I live.
Hmm, thanks, I’ll look for it next time I need to buy condoms, which at this rate could be whenever or even never.
“Yes, actually. I assume everyone has STDs until they take a test to prove otherwise. It’s just safer that way. You’re literally hooking up with me, so I assume this isn’t the first time you’ve hooked up with someone. Can you vouch for everyone you’ve been with before me? And do you trust everyone I’ve been with before you?”
Like bro, you’re a fool if you’re offended when someone asks you to wear a condom. That is so concerning that I’d never contact him again. Someone who is OFFENDED at being asked to use protection is giant walking red flag.
I’m sorry you even have to ask if you were being too pushy. You weren’t. He was being insane. It’s YOUR body, you get to decide what you’re comfortable with. Never let someone pressure you into being less safe than you want.
You did the right thing in insisting!
Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?
Who do you think would say such a thing?
- a partner that loves and respects you.
- an STD-riddled guy.
imma say Number 2 for 1000.
also side note.
Yeah, he put it on… but did he leave it on? was it one he tampered with? His reaction makes him 100% not trustworthy.
When skydiving, is a backup parachute over the top?
Others have said it well but I want to just say that you shouldn’t think of this in terms of “being a pushover”. You were setting boundaries and if those boundaries aren’t being respected, then you shouldn’t be sexually active with that person.
