Those are great, definitely gonna be saving those

I basically want that kind of guide for curing meats and other such things

Also there are some blind spots, something I was just looking for recently is canning some of my home-cured meats to save some space in my freezer. I know it’s a theoretically possible undertaking, I can go to the store and buy a can of corned beef after all

But reputable sources like the USDA and NCHFP are kind of silent on it and pretty much leave it at “we can’t recommend doing that, curing can change the density and water content and such and we haven’t gotten the funding to test it.”

I can find people who have canned their own bacon and such, and apparently not died of botulism, but I don’t exactly trust the processes cooked up by some off-grid homestead tradwife mommy-blogger.

Not any kind of scientist, but an adventurous home cook

I’d really like the USDA/FDA/etc. (maybe not under the current administration) to publish sort of a food safety handbook full of tables and charts for stuff like canning, curing meats, cooking temps, etc. targeted to people like me.

I’ve recently been experimenting with curing meats, I’ve done bacon, Montreal style smoked meat, corned beef, Canadian bacon, and kielbasa.

And holy fuck, is it hard to find good, solid, well-sourced information about how to do that safely.

And I know that information is out there somewhere, because people aren’t dropping dead left and right of listeria, botulism, nitrate poisoning, etc. because they ate some grocery store bacon.

I just want some official reference I can look at to tell me that for a given weight of meat, a dry cure should be between X and Y percent salt, and between A and B percent of Prague powder #1, and that it needs to cure for Z days per inch of thickness, and if it’s a wet brine then it should be C gallons of water and…

When I go looking for that information either I find a bunch of people on BBQ forums who seem to be pulling numbers out of their ass, random recipe sites and cooking blogs that for all I know may be AI slop, or I find some USDA document written in legalese that will say something like 7lbs of sodium nitrite in a 100 gallon pickle solution for 100lbs of meat, which is far bigger than anything I’ll ever work with, and also doesn’t scale directly to the ingredients I have readily available because I’m not starting with pure sodium nitrite but Prague powder which is only 6.25% sodium nitrite.

I’d be pretty hard-pressed to name any of my friends who graduated “on time”

I’m well into my 30s now, a couple of my friends are still working on degrees or just graduated.

Changing majors, bullshit scheduling nonsense, life

Shit, there was a whole fucking pandemic that fucked up a year or two of your high school years, it’s pretty damn amazing that anyone your age is graduating even roughly on-time as far as I’m concerned.

Maybe it’ll throw a bit of a monkey wrench into your social life because you gotta skip out on a couple things because you have class. That’s life as an adult, we all got scheduling conflicts all the time.

Otherwise, it’s never gonna matter. You’ll have a degree, that’s the only “important” thing about graduating. Unless you’re looking to get into some highly-specialized, super-competitive field, no one gives a shit how long it took you to graduate, how your gpa stacked up against the rest of your class, etc. It’s like the old joke “What do you call the person who graduated at the bottom of their class in medical school? You call them ‘Doctor.’”

To the best of my knowledge, the most common parallel universe theory that has any actual real traction in physics is the “many worlds interpretation”

Which is basically that any time some sort of quantum event is observed, the universe splits into multiple parallel universes where every possible outcome of that event is realized in its own universe.

Now people take that and run with it and make up all sorts of pseudoscience bullshit where those splits happen anytime someone makes a choice, or some pseudorandom event like a coin flip or die roll occurs. That’s not really what it’s about.

This is about wonky quantum physics, radioactive decay, collapsing wave function type stuff. I’ll be honest this is high level physics shit, I only kind of understand some of it, which is more than probably 90+% of people out there can say, for most people it probably means about as much as if you came up to them and started talking to them in a foreign language.

So that means that all of those parallel universes are going to be following the same laws of physics since they all diverged from the same universe.

That means that flying reindeer and traveling around the world in a night delivering presents down chimney and such is probably a no-go.

As far as there being a universe where some weirdo named Santa Claus decided to live at the North Pole and build toys, maybe, but probably pretty unlikely. I have a pretty hard time imagining a version of the world where different quantum outcomes would lead to that. Would, for example, a single uranium atom decaying or not decaying make that happen? Probably not. Of course, untold millions of tiny events like that can eventually add up to some big difference, but I still have a hard time imagining a situation where that would be the outcome.

Like I think someone in this thread already said, there are an infinite amount of numbers between 0 and 1 (0.1, 0.2, 0.001234, etc,) but none of them are “2” some things are just impossible.

It’s amazing how often that’s the solution.

Once upon a time well before I was born my dad was a pipefitter, he still had most of his tools and so growing up we were sort of the first-line troubleshooters for everyone in my family when they had a plumbing issue. He had a pretty impressive collection of absurdly-large screwdrivers that you’d look at and go “when the hell would you ever need this?”

Until you came across a giant screw like this, or you had the tank off a toilet and needed a 2ft long screwdriver to reach the tank bolts properly.

For me, a lot of it has to do with how it’s presented in schools

Pi, for example. One day my teachers just kind of dumped this magical 3.14… number on me without any real explanation. Just basically “use this number to do stuff with circles,” no real explanation on what pi actually is on anything, just “remember this”

Years later I found a gif of a circle sort of unraveling that showed how the circumference is π × the diameter of the circle

And sure, mathematically, the formula tells you that, but actually seeing that animated out made a hell of a lot more sense to me.

Now I got most of my basic math education before those gifs were so readily available, and smart boards were just becoming a thing when I was in high school, so it would have been a little hard to show that to a bunch of elementary or middle school students without having us huddle around a desktop.

But that’s something that could have been illustrated pretty well with a couple circles of different sizes (cardboard cut-outs, printed on paper, different jar lids, etc,) a piece of string, and a ruler.

In the interest of battery life and redundancy, I think it might make sense to have 3 devices.

Ereader with an e ink display for reading, a lot of these can last days or weeks on a charge easily

An mp3 player for music. I don’t know what the current state of mp3 players is, I suspect a lot of no-name imported garbage, but over a decade ago I know my iPod used to go days or weeks on a charge with pretty heavy usage. Probably look for whatever has the least bells and whistles you can find- no touch screen, physical controls, etc. if you’re up for a bit of tinkering I’m pretty sure there’s a pretty active scene for people modding old iPods with better batteries, more storage, etc. that would probably be a great option.

A tablet or smartphone for movies, or possibly a laptop (I’m not an apple guy, but I’ve heard MacBooks have pretty insane battery life these days.) Keep all the wifi/cellular/Bluetooth/gps, etc. turned off, keep it on power save mode, disable anything you can that you don’t need to watch movies. Unfortunately if such a thing as a dedicated video-only tablet exists, I couldn’t find it with a quick search. If such a thing can be found, I’d probably recommend that.

A dedicated device that does one job well will usually be more efficient at that thing than a multipurpose device like a tablet, smartphone, or computer that needs to be able to do it all. An mp3 player only needs to be able to play music, it doesn’t need to be running a full-on OS that’s capable of sending emails, making phone calls, playing games, etc.

Also that way if one of those things does die on you, you still have the other 2.

I saw in one of your other comments your concern about a tablet having a bigger screen would be a bigger drain on battery life. That’s true to an extent, bigger screens draw more power, but since the whole device is bigger they can compensate with a bigger battery. I haven’t exactly done an exhaustive survey of tablet battery life and don’t care to look into it, but in my (fairly limited) experience, they usually pretty much at least break even or surpass phones in battery life. I have a cheap tablet that I really only use for reading it lives in my bag, usually in my car, often forgotten about for days or occasionally weeks at a time, and doesn’t exactly get heavy usage, but it usually can go at least a few days without a change, even with WiFi and Bluetooth left on. If I’m not using it at all, it can sometimes go a couple weeks just sitting idle. It’s usually good for at least a couple hours of streaming HD video, with WiFi turned off and 720p video on internal storage I imagine it’s good for at least a couple movies.

WiFi and cellular data are pretty big power drains too. I know when I check my battery usage on my phone that probably accounts for about ⅓ or so of it. Having those turned off can go a long way. Jailbreaking/rooting your phone to disable unnecessary services probably wouldn’t hurt, but that’s probably a drop in the bucket compared to just keeping your device offline.

I don’t really like brand favouritism, but if you’re able to find a Toyota in your price range, as far as I’m concerned it’s pretty hard to go wrong with them. I’m pretty hard-pressed to think of anyone I’ve ever known who’s had a Toyota who had anything really bad to say about them, even with the few years of Tacomas that had major rust issues around the early 2000s, everyone I know who had one felt that Toyota did a pretty solid job of doing right by them.

My current car is an '07 4runner. I bought it used with around 150k miles on it about 5 years ago, I now at just over 200k miles. and except for the usual shit like brakes that are expected to wear down every few years, the only major thing I’ve had to deal with was replacing the alternator. It does have a small exhaust leak that throws a code for the catalytic converter every so often (it’s on for maybe a couple weeks every few months or so) that I’m not particularly concerned about. I’m fairly confident that with not much beyond regular upkeep this car could make it to 300k+ pretty easily.

My wife is driving a Prius that’s a few years newer (2012 I think) she’s had it for a few years now, only thing she’s needed is new tires so far.

Growing up my mom had an '89 Corolla, and there’s a damn good chance it’s still on the road. At some point we sold it to my uncle who later sold it to a cousin, and after that we lost track of it, but around that time (circa 2010-ish) it was still going just fine, even after having a pretty large tree fall on it and all of the usual wear and tear you’d expect on a 20+ year old car.

Outside of my family’s favoritism for Toyotas, I also have a hard time thinking of people who have anything bad to say about Honda’s. I’ve also never heard anyone complain about their Subaru, I have less personal experience with Subarus overall, I’ve never driven one, but my overall impression of every one I’ve ever ridden in has been positive, and Subaru owners sing their praises.

Most people I’ve known with Kias and Hyundais have also spoken highly about them…

Overall, my general advice is buy from any of the major Asian car brands unless you need a larger pickup truck (¾ ton or bigger,) then pretty much your only options are pretty much American trucks. For ½ ton or smaller trucks, I’d personally stick to Asian brands still, with the possible exception of the Ford Maverick.

As far as specific models, my personal recommendations are

Subaru in pretty much any market segment they inhabit. Smaller sporty cars are dumb regardless of brand, but if that’s your thing, go Subaru.

Sedans/hatchbacks- Toyota Corolla or Prius, Honda Accord or civic.

Compact suvs/crossovers- Toyota RAV4, Honda CRV, Kia sportage, Hyundai Tucson. Wrangler if you actually intend to go off roading, Suzuki samurai if you’re going off roading and not in the US.

Mid-sized SUV: Toyota 4runner (I’ve dialed in that a midsized SUV is the right sized car for me personally at this point in my life, not going to go into all of the reasoning for that, but having driven a few different brands and models I am personally confident in saying that it is the be-all end-all of mid sized SUVs for me, if Isuzu ever makes a comeback in the passenger vehicle segment and resurrects the trooper I may be open to reevaluating that because I loved my trooper, but they’re all 20+ years old now)

Full-sized SUVs: do not recommend. If you can find one of the old school jeep wagoneers maybe do that for the cool factor, but if you’re contemplating a full sized SUV what you really want is a minivan, or maybe a Ford flex. They’re not “cool,” but trust me, minivans are the shit.

Minivans- they’re all pretty good, never met a minivan I didn’t like.

Small pick-up trucks- Ford Maverick, or if you need/want a “real” truck get a Tacoma or Frontier, or go for old rangers/Mazda B series or a t100 if you’re ok with an old truck, or replace all of those recommendations with a Toyota Hilux if you’re not in the US/Canada

½ ton pickup- Toyota tundra

Bigger than ½ ton- you don’t need this unless you are regularly towing a heavy trailer or live and work on a farm, or do major construction business with your personal vehicle, or something to that effect. If that applies to you, take your pick of any of the big 3 American brands, I like Fords, but honestly I view this as the same as picking your favorite color, it’s what you like personally, don’t let anyone else yuck your yum.

Personally, and I’m not saying this applies to everyone by a longshot, what car you need/want is fairly personal, but if I had carte blanche to go out and buy any newish car I could find to replace my current vehicle I’d be looking at

Toyota 4runner or Tacoma Subaru Crosstrek or Outback
Ford Maverick

But I’m an outdoorsy, DIY-minded person, who goes “off-road” occasionally (I don’t go off roading for its own sake, but my life sometimes tak me driving onto a beach, or down some shitty dirt paths, over fields, etc.) has to commute in the snow, often has to pick up bulky lumber and such, and occasionally how small trailers.

My wife who doesn’t usually have any of those needs would probably be looking at a newer Prius, or maybe a Hyundai Kona if she decided she wanted something bigger.

And in an ideal world, I’d probably have a maverick or 4runner for my various outdoorsy and DIY pursuits, and whatever the smallest cheapest DIY hybrid or electric car I can find is for my daily commuting as long as it has 4 wheels, a/c, and a radio, pretty much anything out there would be just fine for me. But I can only count on having 2 parking spaces.

Honestly at 5k in this economy, you’re probably scraping the bottom of the barrel of anything that can be considered a “good” car, and you’re probably going to just end up with whatever is available near you in your price range with relatively low miles. Go asian if you can’t but don’t expect anything amazing to present itself.

When you say it won’t loosen when turned, do you mean it’s totally seized up or it spins but the part doesn’t come off?

If it’s totally seized up, have you tried dousing it with some sort of penetrating oil? WD40 might do it a pinch, but a specialized penetrant like PB blaster or liquid wrench would probably be better.

Soaking it with some CLR or something might also help to break up and rust, lime, or other crud that might be in there.

Still won’t come loose? Get the beefiest screwdriver you can find that will fit the slot. Maybe give it a couple good love taps with a hammer and see if that helps bust it loose.

If you can find a suitable bit, an impact driver/wrench may do the trick too.

Get a big ol’ set of channel locks, vise grips, a pipe wrench, etc. that you can grab onto the screwdriver with to give you some extra leverage, and go to town.

Sometimes a little heat will do the trick, you can try hot tap water, boiling water, heat gun, and blowtorch if you’re willing to accept a bit of a risk.

If it’s spinning but you don’t seem to be making any progress

Do you have access to the back of the tub? Often there’s an access panel so you can get at the plumbing. If all else fails you can try to take the drain apart from the back/underneath

EDIT: I suspect this is part of a pop up stopper something like this- https://youtu.be/c5_o166BCDQ (not my video) just so you have some idea how this thing goes together

Edit 2: sorry I fired off a couple quick thought and this is still rolling around in the back of my head because I’m havi a slow night at work. These pop up drain stoppers are like $15. Don’t worry about breaking them too much, the whole assembly pretty much unscrews. Bust off the plastic parts and if you need to cut off the screw head, get a tub drain removal tool (also about $10 -15) try to find one that’s hollow if there’s still some screw sticking up, unscrew the whole drain and replace it.

Every once in a while, as an out of shape guy in my 30s, I think about buying myself a pair of heelys.

Was never a skater, never really had much interest in them as a kid, but something about the idea of rolling around in Costco while I do my grocery shopping appeals to me.

Jawn

It’s Philadelphian, it’s a general purpose noun and can be used for any person, place, or thing.

Go birds!

I’ve had a fake account for going on 2 decades at this point, for a long time it coexisted with my regular account before I deleted that.

I have no idea how it hasn’t been flagged as fake yet.

I’ve changed the name on it and all of my information a couple of times, I have like 2 pictures, both just stolen from Google image searches for things like “dude” and “guy with computer”

For a little while I used it for some memes and shitposting and occasionally tagged it from my main account.

At one point I unfriended just about everyone I actually know and added a bunch of randos from around the world.

For the last 10+ years I don’t think I’ve actually used it to post, like, comment, or follow anything. Nowadays I just use it to log in and see what various pages I want to follow are posting.

At this point I think I’m mostly coasting on the account age being old enough that they assume I must be a real person. It probably also helps that the account has never really done anything offensive to warrant anyone actually looking into it.

Few more ingredients but my carnitas have always been a crowd pleaser

• Pork shoulder
• Coke
• Orange juice
• Chicken stock
• Canned Chipotles in adobo
• Onions
• Garlic
• Spices - I mix it up a bit, but salt, pepper, cumin, cayenne, and oregano will usually get you there. Packet or two of taco seasoning would probably do the trick as well

I tend to eyeball everything, but usually about a 12oz can of coke, oj and stock until it looks right, one onion chopped up, however many cloves of garlic I feel like peeling and chopping

If the pork shoulder fits I do it in a pressure cooker on high about 2 hours, if it doesn’t I do it significantly longer in a slow cooker

When it’s falling apart, pull the bones out, shred (I like to use a mixer)

Then like you, crisp it up under the broiler, and maybe mix in some of the cooking liquid

If you intend to continue living in America for now, DO NOT LEAVE THE COUNTRY if it can be at all avoided. Not into Canada, not Mexico, not to any other country, not by land, sea, or air. If you can, stay at least 100 miles away from any border.

Don’t count on your visa, green card, or any other documentation and paperwork you may have being sufficient to allow you back into the country. Honestly, I don’t think we’re far from you being potentially barred from returning even if you’re a naturalized citizen.

If you must leave the country for any reason, do so with the knowledge that you may not be allowed to return. Bring your important documents, extra cash, clothes, etc. make arrangements for your pets, figure out what your next move will be if you get to the US border and are denied entry, where will you go, who will you stay with, etc.

It depends on the context

If I’m just looking for a confirmation that my message was received, and the plans need to additional modification, a thumbs up is sufficient.

If I ask something like “Wanna meet up at the bar after work today?” And get a thumbs up, that’s sufficient. We know where we’re going and when, no more discussion really needed.

If I ask “you free to grab a beer this weekend?” and I get a thumbs up, that’s bullshit. When are you free to grab said beer? Where are we going for it? We have details that need to be hammered out.

For power tools- very important, if they’re the wrong color they don’t work with my batteries. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.

Otherwise, not very. Color is pretty much the last thing on my mind, weird colors are kind of a bonus so my tools can be easily identified and so they’re less likely to get lost by blending in, but not a primary reason for me to buy anything.

I’m considering painting on some colored rings around the handles of some of my tools to easily identify them at a glance. Stuff that’s somewhat likely to end up in a pile of similar-looking tools when I’m working with friends. Be nice to say that my hammer is the one with a purple ring around the handle or whatever.

TL;DR

From my end of things, none of these companies are much better or worse than any other. If I had to pick one of the big names I’d say maybe ADT/Everon, but the difference is miniscule. If you can find a smaller local company, that’s probably your best bet, especially if they somehow have a local call center (most of them seem to outsource to central call centers that handle probably dozens of alarm companies)

If you’re in a rich, less-dense town where you can’t count on neighbors being around to see a break in happening to call it in, sure, go ahead and get an alarm. If you’re stuck living in the ghetto, and can somehow afford it, go for it. If you have some sort of fucked up domestic situation where your ex is stalking you or something, it’s probably worth it (but change your code and locks.) If none of that applies to you, just lock your doors and maybe put some lights on timers and motion sensors, and just have a little situational awareness and you’re probably going to be fine. Like I said above, most of the calls I get are false alarms, and of the legitimate ones, most of them get called in faster and more efficiently by the homeowner, a neighbor, an employee, or a random passerby before we ever get the call from the alarm co.

And if you do get one, make sure they’re setting it up right, make sure you’re providing them with correct information and keeping it up to date, and make sure the sensors are labeled in some sort of sensible manner. “Zone 2” means absolutely nothing to anyone.

If I ever personally get an alarm system, it will probably be for fire alarms. Currently though, I have some smart smoke detectors that will send me a notification on my phone if they go off. I think that’s pretty adequate, as long as I have cell service, I can call it in myself if I’m not home, and if I don’t have cell service, that probably means I’m out camping and so my dog is either with me or staying with my parents, everything else in my house is just stuff, and that’s what insurance is for.

I apologize, this became a long rant, too long for a single comment. This comment is mostly rant, I’m going to reply to it with sort of a TL;DR in a 2nd comment, but it’s still probably going to be kind of long, I have a lot of thoughts about alarm companies.

I work in 911 dispatch. What happens when your alarm gets activated is the alarm company receives the signal and then they call someone like me to send police/fire/EMS.

I’m pretty sure that everyone in my profession has a pretty low opinion of alarm companies. In theory the services are a fine idea. In practice, they’re kind of a shit show. I’m not too sure where the biggest issue is with them- corporate decision making, lazy installation techs, incompetent account managers, terrible phone operators (some of them like to call them dispatchers, they don’t dispatch shit) or the customers are all just idiots, but it’s probably all of the above and more.

Starting from the bottom, a whole lot of these places seem to use the same sort of call centers we’ve all come to know and hate from having to call tech support. Most of them have thick accents, and most of the ones who don’t seem to be borderline illiterate. Think back to grade school when the teacher would go around the room having you read a paragraph or two from a book out loud then pass it onto the next person to continue reading, it eventually would come around to the kid who probably had undiagnosed dyslexia and a fear of public speaking, and he’d struggle through it having to sound out each word syllable by syllable while you all just went ahead and read the paragraph on your own. That’s what talking to some of these operators is like. And if you deviate from their script even the tiniest bit they get totally flustered and don’t know what to say.

That’s all well and good in your high school English class when you’re reading through Romeo and Juliet, but when I’m trying to send the fire department out to see if a house is burning down or not it’s maddening when I can’t tell if the address they’re giving me is “7 main Street” so “11 maple Street” either because of their accent, they’re mumbling into the phone with a screaming baby in the background (I’m pretty sure some of them are working from home now) or they just can’t fucking read.

On my call here are the questions I’m asking.

What is the address- house number, street name, apartment/suite number if applicable, municipality (not necessarily the same thing as the town/city on the mailing address, they’re different sometimes, I’m sending your towns police, not delivering your mail)

What is the nearest cross street- to verify I have the right location, damn near every town has a Maple Street, and because I can’t necessarily count on getting the correct town from the caller, this helps me make sure I’m sending help to the right Maple Street and not the one in the next town over.

If it’s a business, and the name of the business. I’ve had alarms called in as residential alarms but the name of the resident is listed as something like “Anderson Construction LLC” so a commercial alarm under just some schmuck’s name. Or it will be the name of some property management company and not the actual business at that location.

For security alarms- is it audible or silent

The area of activation - half of them are just labeled as something like “zone 2” which is useless. I don’t know where zone 2 is, the alarm co doesn’t know, the homeowner doesn’t know, our police and fire sure don’t, so we don’t know where we need to be looking for the issue. Is it a motion sensor? A window alarm? The garage? Your guess is as good as mine. Or sometimes zone 2 is kitchen windows, bathroom door, side room motion, and basement stairs all on the same zone.

Also once in a while they’ll tell me something like it’s a security alarm but it’s coming from the smoke detector.

If it’s residential - what is the resident’s name?

Some sort of contact phone number. Ideally a premise phone number, but at least a residents cell phone, or a keyholder for the business. Some way to get ahold of someone to make sure everything is ok, see if they know why the alarm is going off, confirm if anyone is supposed to be there, figure out how to re-secure the house if they find an unlocked door, get authorization to force entry if needed, etc.

Will you notify- will you be calling the resident, an emergency contact, keyholder, etc. to let them know about this alarm

That’s a lot of ranting on my part, but it’s not much information I’m looking for. On the rare occasion they have all the information and the operator is competent, it takes me just over 1 minute to get everything I need

My entire call ideally boils down to something like:

123 MAIN ST, TOWNSVILLE NY, APT 4
X-STREET: MAPLE ST
AUD, BEDROOM MOTION
JOE SCHMO - 555-555-5555
W/N

There’s not a single one of those fields that they haven’t messed up- wrong or incomplete addresses, no x streets, no name/wrong name, wrong or no phone number, no list of emergency contacts, or the contacts are all outdated and haven’t worked at a company for 10 years. Sometimes all on the same call. I sometimes wonder how they manage to get paid for their service because I don’t know how they’re able to send their customers a bill or call them to ask for money because they don’t seem to have any of that information.

And sometimes they call the wrong jurisdiction, I’ve occasionally had to transfer alarm calls to other dispatch centers around the country.

We had one once where all the information they had was an “address” that was something like “¼ mile past the motor pool” and the zone. Literally nothing else. Somehow our supervisor managed to track that down to an Indian reservation on the other side of the country. I have no idea why it came to us, but we got that call a couple times before they were able to finally update the account information.

Some of that is lazy installation techs not setting things up properly, or customer service and account managers and such not properly verifying information. Sometimes though I think it’s customers providing them with garbage information from the get go.

Also most of these companies have some sort of verification protocol where they try to reach the homeowner to confirm if help is needed and they ask for a password. I get a lot of false alarm calls where they spoke with the homeowner but they didn’t know their password, so they had to call it in. Maybe write that down and stick it in your wallet or something if you can’t remember it.

They’ll call in 3 hours later with an “update” to a previous alarm that our responders have already been out to and cleared from for 2½ hours. And sometimes they’ll call in 2 minutes later with a new request for dispatch and are shocked to learn that we already have help on the way because I literally just hung up with another operator for an alarm at the same location.

And when a sensor is malfunctioning and giving false alarms, no one ever seems to do anything about it. There are houses and businesses that we legitimately have police or fire at almost every night and sometimes multiple times a night because the alarm keeps going off for no reason and it sometimes goes on for months or years because no one can be bothered to get a tech out fix it or at least take that sensor offline.

We had one alarm we kept getting for about a year. The business it was for had been closed for years and the property vacant, even our police couldn’t track down a property owner or anything. Who the hell was paying that alarm bill? I think it only stopped when the building was demolished.

This all pretty much applies to medical alarms like life alert and such too. Missing or incorrect information across the board there. Same address verification, name and phone number, we also want medical history and access information like a hidden key or garage code. We’d rather not have to break down your grandmother’s door to help her up after she’s fallen and can’t get up if there’s a spare key hidden under a flower pot we could use instead.

And the icing on the cake, of the probably thousands of alarm calls I’ve handled in almost 6 years I’ve been here, maybe a few hundred of them have been legitimate, the rest were false alarms or accidental activations. Most of the legit ones have been fire alarms.

And of those legitimate calls, all but maybe a few dozen of them have been called in faster and more efficiently by the homeowner, employees, or random bystanders/passersby who either noticed something suspicious or heard the alarm going off and called it into us before we ever got a call from the alarm company. Hell, sometimes the alarm never even goes off until the police are there clearing the interior of a building after a break-in.

I live and work in what I’d overall consider to be a very safe area. Break-ins are almost vanishingly rare, and when they do happen it’s more likely to be some sort of a domestic thing where your ex wants to steal back the TV they bought you and remembers your alarm code or something like that than the sort of burglary you probably imagine. And when the more legitimate break-ins happen, it’s either in the super rich neighborhoods when the homeowner is out of town, or it’s in the poorer, more urban (this is the suburbs, none of it is really urban, but a couple towns come pretty close) parts of my county, where most of the people probably don’t have the extra money for an alarm system anyway. For everyone else in the middle, I think security alarms aren’t really worth it.

One small data point I’m able to offer

My family is polish, were a few generations removed from the old country, no one really speaks more than a handful of words of polish. There’s a pretty decent amount of people with polish ancestry around us in the Philly area, and one thing that kind of sticks out to me is “kielbasa”

The pronunciation around here has been sort of twisted into something like “ku-bah-see” and it’s pretty universal around these parts, not sure how widespread that is in the rest of the country.

I think “kielbasy” is the actual Polish plural for kielbasa, so I suppose that’s part of how the pronunciation got twisted.

Bonus fun fact- there is/was a Polish organized crime group active in parts of Philly that was sometimes known as the “kielbasa posse” which rhymes when pronounced that way.

I’m also pretty sure the pronunciations of “babcia” and “dziadek” (grandmother and grandfather) in my family are more than a bit off from standard polish too, though I think that comes down to more to just us trying to say polish words with an American accent.

My sister went to school in NEPA, so I’ll throw you a couple bones

Weather sure is nice today, heyna?

Wanna go grab a couple-two-tree beers?

The several competing pronunciations of Wilkes-Barre

Throop (pronounced “troop”)