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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: March 20th, 2024

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  • I’m writing this, sitting in a hotel room with the kids as my wife is outside chatting with her family.
    Family or friends with can help quite a bit. Just someone there to take up some of the kids attention is really all you’re asking for. If they want to do more than that, that’s good too.
    10 mo old is rough. I’d say, plan to be within 15-30 mins of a hotel for most of the trip. A lake/pool seems like a good option.



  • Do play dates with the same kids. Diff ones can be a lot.
    It helps if there’s something there that kid likes. And if you can lead the conversation.
    Look at all these pretty toys. My favorite color is blue. What’s your favorite color, Timmy? Max’s favorite color is green.
    Etc. etc.

    Feeling involved in the convo is good even if they aren’t speaking


  • Take him to a lil kids park as much as you can. Like every weekend. When you’re there, be on the periphery and encourage him to go play with other kids. Don’t hover right next. It’s ok to make the intros and then go hang on a bench. Idea is to get him playing with other kids by himself, getting into lil disagreements, dealing with kids that aren’t nice, etc.


  • The sleep training method I used was:

    • get sleepy and relaxed holding in arms
    • put in crib. Use words Naptime or whatever they typically hear at sleeping time. Rub back a few times. 1 min max. Then walk away
    • cry a lil because you feel bad.
    • put a timer on for 5 mins.
    • at end of 5 mins, come in, pick up and comfort. Get their breathing to even out and get them relaxed again.
    • put back in crib and walk.
    • Cry a lil more
    • 10 min timer from then on. A lil longer if you think they’re on the brink of falling asleep.
    • do this cycle until it works. A couple of nightmare nights and then it should stick. Anytime you cave, you’re breaking the training and causing more stress.

    Now I’m (M) able to put in crib, sit on floor, and shh until they fall asleep on their own with minimal crying.



  • Most parenting books seemed to be summed up as ‘It depends’. There is a frustrating lack of empirically derived books. Best I can offer is talk now about parenting philosophy with spouse - e.g. how much crying is acceptable when 1 yo before you have to go comfort? When kid falls down do you swoop in or let the kid manage? Keep to that philosophy - kids hate flip-flopping on approaches





  • Yeah. Totally makes sense, and that is fair. Tho turns seem to lead to the ‘is it my turn yet? Is it now? Now?’ conversation that sometimes I would rather avoid.

    I tell my kid I can’t play Spotify in the car, and so she’s fine with the radio or quiet. Wife does let her sometimes - and every time we get into the car with her, kid says ‘can I listen to X music’.

    Sometimes a hard rule is just helpful to avoid those discussions.



  • How old is the kid? They might be ready for you to read chapter books to them at bedtime. I remember being about 10 and getting lotr and Brian jacques read to me. For ‘can I watch something’ - predictability is key. If they have a chance of trying to wear you down, they’ll take it. Settle for something like: you get 1 little bear after daycare, and that’s it for the rest of the day.
    As other guy said tho, that means you can’t watch either tho.