I was just following the writing prompt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ll take your comment to mean I done did good :D

What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that’s fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it’s very dim. “Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is.” Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, “Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went.” Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. “More for me then!” Eat the whole thing.

Instant legend.

Fuck me, get out more.

Which would you prefer? As an X slacker, I only have enough spare “meh” to handle one or the other.

Wait… you’re a millennial? Doesn’t that mean you’re basically a kid? Does this count as grooming? Help, I need an adult!

realizes half the adults in his family are dead

Typical boomers.

Here’s a sampling:

Aye.

In general, if someone ND is complaining about X, equating it to NT X doesn’t work. They have the same name, yes. That’s because we don’t have words for X² or X³ etc. Imagine if house cats, ocelots, pumas, and tigers were all called “cats.”

“A stray cat wandered in and it looks hungry.”

“So, what’s the big deal? We have three cats at home. Just give them some kibble.”

“I think it plans on eating me.”

“Stop exaggerating.”

This also works as a reply to OP’s question.

I just un-finished my basement to put in a full perimeter drain. Prior owners put in a partial drain and (re?) finished over everything. Took 5 years to get (visible) water down there but when it happened I wasn’t surprised. So much other stuff had been covered up that I just kind of assumed there were issues behind the paneling. And there were. More bucks to clean it up and finish the demo of a side room they had partitioned off. Then I found out that the chimney leaked when it rained sideways.

…it’s been an eventful and expensive year. 💀

Hello fellow sufferer. May your future surprises be boring.

…can’t think of a single thing.

Fuck you, Larry.

My favorite part is when it’s over and all the fake cheer dissolves.

gestures vaguely at everything

Not a whole lot, but it’s better than just my subbed feed. (Mostly niche interests far from any sort of critical mass.)

It’s better to not ask questions sometimes.

backs away slowly

Me learning this about electromagnetism: huh, neat.

Me learning this about something I actually use in day to day life: 🤯

Just empty the whole tube in there and swish it around. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

…that’s enough internet for today, I think.

children’s book (? Title? - no two kids are not on fire!)

Numbah 84 - Kids Book

Damn near pissed myself laughing the first time I saw it.

You just keep doin your thing man.