This is what that tenth dentist wants.

Male-pattern freedom.

Kind of wholesome. Mom makes the best memes.

Nailed it.

Which GTA mod is this?

If Jim Carrey ever wanted to come back and do an R-rated version…

“Icy to dull the pain, hot to relax it away.”

Huh, I thought the portal was behind a Burger King.

I have exactly one item in my house that needs a coin cell battery. The device (an egg timer) is magnetized to the stove vent way beyond my boy’s reach and I keep the only spare battery inside the packaging until I need it.

My son isn’t the kind of kid that goes digging for stuff to put in his mouth. But if so, it would be impossible for him to open the carton and it would be very hard for him to put the whole thing in his mouth.

Kids or not, I hate coin batteries in general. Mostly because you can’t buy rechargeable versions. I have a collection of Eneloops, most of which are nearing their ninth birthday and still going strong. I would rather not buy disposable batteries of any kind.

If Microsoft controlled Android.

picture of an iPhone

“Neverending Story? No, the story definitely came to an end.”

That’s mildly terrifying.

You didn’t choose the kindy life, the kindy life chose you.

This, but unironically.

Also, I love this about kids. NEVER stop asking questions, little girl!

Hammond: “SEAL THE IRIS!!”

Me, just sitting there listening to Two Steps From Hell while an epic battle plays out in my head.

Honestly, that Star Trek VI outfit fits him very well.

Dr. Fax’s office exist outside of the space-time continuum.

I’ve been served worse meals.

You didn’t tell it to point at the tail, so it pointed to it (the cat). Task failed successfully.