Just a guy wandering aimlessly through this world.

Pronouns: he/him/his

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  • 63 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • Not sure whether it’s a mistake or not, but when I see people being so negative on their profile, I skip. It’s fine to announce your intentions (eg, looking forward a commitment, not looking for a situationship), but if your profile is mainly a list of don’t’s, then that to me screams you’ve still got issues to work through.

    Another one are the people who either don’t fill out a profile, or say something trite like “if you want to know, ask”. That makes me think you’re lazy, and expect the other person to do all the work. If you can’t be bothered even a little, then I can’t be bothered even a little.


  • Don’t live your life to please other people. It’ll make you miserable because there will always be those you can’t please. Instead, define for yourself what a “good vegan” is, and do your best to meet that standard. Everybody is different, and only you know what works for you.

    Also, be forgiving of yourself. Everybody makes mistakes; no one is born an expert at anything. The fact that we still bite our tongues while eating is proof of that. So give yourself grace when you make a mistake; learn from it, and become better.







  • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldtoFediverse@lemmy.mlTransphobia in the fediverse
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    4 months ago

    I think you touched on a great point: there are people who do not want to participate in a discussion; they’d rather make their statements, and then have nothing to do with anyone who disagrees with them at any level.

    People have forgotten that “to argue” means to, “give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one’s view…”

    And just because someone doesn’t immediately or fully agree with you does not make them your enemy, or necessarily mean they’re a bad person. Sure, there are people who would argue in bad faith, and those people should certainly not be tolerated. But there are also people who are here in good faith, attempting to have honest conversations.


  • I read a post earlier tonight from tumbler that made me uncomfortably aware that I am naive when it comes to dog whistles and other subtleties people use to spread their hate. It laid out examples of things people are saying, and explained why they’re bad.

    I know I would find it helpful and educational to know where you’re coming from, and to see the examples you’re speaking about.





  • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlHow to deal with exhaustion?
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    5 months ago

    Obligatory: this is not medical advice. This is merely my personal experiences. In fact, the only thing I will advise anyone on is that if they feel overwhelmed, they seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    So I’ve had a similar problem for the past 9 years. For me, I have to come to the conclusion that I’m in a freeze-state of my dysregulated nervous system.

    I’m in weekly talk therapy, and have been working on recognizing the things that have been causing me the most stress, and ways I can deal with or mitigate those things.

    And that’s been all fine and good, but I still struggle with getting started on actual activity to help deal with my compounding responsibilities. It’s hard, and some days are better than others.

    I used a combination of calendars and reminders to help break down and organize my tasks. I give myself grace if I can’t get them all comply when I initially wanted to finish them, and I try to do at least 2 or 3 things a day ( o matter how small).



  • I’ve noticed this too. Not only what you stated, but how the search terms aren’t always respected; ie they do similar terms, even if the term or phrase is in quotes (the quotes should mean exact matches only). They also do a lot of filtering of the results if they feel I shouldn’t be seeing them. I can take my same search query from DDG to Google and most of the time find what I’m looking for.

    If I understand DDG correctly, they use Microsoft Bing as their backend for search results. So while they may be branded DDG, the results are in fact out of DDG’a control. It also means we are more subject to Microsoft’s privacy policy than we are to DDG’s.

    I’ve been wanting to move away from DDG because of these reasons, but have been unable to find good alternatives. Hopefully someone here can make good suggestions.


  • Banning members on their username. Locking down an entire community because of a small group of people spamming. Deleting posts because an account isn’t old enough?

    Why not throw in the system to have to approve posts before they get published? Really make the community welcoming.

    It was said in another comment above that this tool is easily abused by “overzealous mods”, but I believe the real problem are overzealous programmers.

    Reddit failed for reasons, and I believe automod was one of them. But you’ll do you, and nothing I say can change that.