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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • I always hated the sound of kids crying and wanted this kid to be different in that respect but I still hate it and my blood starts to boil the longer he cries (again, I’m not going to hurt this kid. I’m not a violent person).

    I had similar feelings. There were a few times where I wasn’t in a good place emotionally, so I made sure the screaming kid was safe, closed the door, and took five to calm down. Then I opened the door and did what I could to help the baby.

    I didn’t think I was a person who got angry/frustrated that easily, but yeah, a screaming kid can have that effect.


  • I felt so bad when my first was born. I felt similar, the immediate jolt of love and connection wasn’t exactly there … he would scream, and I would cry. …

    3 years later that same baby, I’d rip my fucking skin off with rusty pliers if there was a chance of keeping him safe

    This is my experience as well. Nobody seems to talk about it IRL, but I see similar sentiment online.


  • They go through a bunch of phases in the first three years:

    • houseplant (need to be watered and fed, don’t interact much),
    • blind kitten (need to be fed, not in control of movements, don’t really interact, can move)
    • kitten - can move and interact, not really in control of actions.
    • Puppy - can interact, likes playing, not in control of emotions, can move
    • drunk troll - likes moving, vaguely understands what’s happening, gets upset for weird reasons, starting to express love towards you, destroys things for fun/frustration

    And then they start getting more like people. It’s easier to interact with them. As they get closer to creatures we understand, it will be easier to love them.

    Good luck. It gets easier and better.