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You are amazing, all the self control of Donald Trump with the charismatic charm of Mark Zuckerburg.
I have neither the crayons nor the inclination to explain it to you.
Stealing this
I saw one here the other day calling someone a soup fork. I’ve been using that for people who are completely useless.
I’ve also heard “wind sandwich.”
Soup sandwich is another
I’ve heard that!
I work with an older lady who hits people with “you’re so pretty” when they do or ask something stupid and I love it.
I first saw this used by Hugh Hefner in some reality TV show with some of his bimbos in Venice. One of them said how cool it was to be where Al Capone was born and he responded with, “You’re so pretty.” Of course, she absolutely took the compliment at face value.
Lmao, it did took a while for me to register
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
What does this even mean
“Your mom is a hoe and your dad is an alcoholic.”
Explanation
Hamsters have a lot of random sex and elderberries can be fermented into wine.
(You DO need Fr*nch accent to make this insult work tho)
It means their quest to seek the Holy Grail is likely doomed. And besides, we’ve already got one.
Beat me to it
I can read it to you all day but unfortunately I cannot understand it for you.
The classic southern “Bless your heart”
Big fan of a slow disapproving head shake and a thumbs down. Especially in road rage situations (or any time I see a Cybertruck).
I only recently discovered the power of the thumbs down in the car. It is magical.
I bet you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.
I love how you don’t let facts influence your opinion.
I have to thank the one and only James May for introducing me to “you witless dishcloth”
My favorite of his was “apocalyptic dingleberry.”
Hello.
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
I blame the alcohol, not what you drank tonight but what your mother drank while pregnant with you
It’s really hard to underestimate you.
Ohhh, I like this one. Commited to permanent memory.
“Sorry, I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend.”
Implying that everything they said or had done was to get your romantic attention.
It was trending a few years ago but never caught on fully.
Still good.
I like to use this when handed a form that asks “Sex?”. Lol.
Nice
