I was just sitting at the mall taking a break from mall walking. A man walked over to me when I wasn’t even looking up. He said "I haven’t seen you here before. " I said I wasn’t really here to talk to people and got up and walked away. He said he would leave, he may even have said sorry. I said I was ready to leave anyway. In retrospect I think he may have just been slightly mentally challenged so I wish I had been a little softer, he did not turn out to be aggressive. Looking for suggestions on something still clear and firm but more polite? This scared me for some reason, I think how fast he walked up and sat down near me.
Editing to add a key detail, he sat down close to me which is probably what made me more nervous than I would have otherwise been. I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I’ve gotten and interesting discussion.
Feedback unrelated to your core problem. I’ve found that when describing people it’s more appropriate/respectful to use man, woman, person or whichever way you like to describe people, save for male/female. The latter is good for speaking about subjects or patients in a more scientific/clinical/biological way, but can sound impersonal in an “othering” sense. Noones going to throw a fit over this unless you’re in a weird place online, but it does make your language softer and more personable
Yes, using “male” or “female” as a noun (rather than an adjective) is bad form when referring to people. At least, it’s non-standard.
That said, language is constantly evolving, and when there is a need, it will be filled. Convention be damned. And there is a need for a noun that means “girl or woman” that isn’t clunky. There’s no good “standard” word to use. I think that’s one of the reasons this usage is becoming more common. (Personally, it gives me the ick, probably because I heard it used mostly in misogynistic contexts c. 2010 and it’s hard to shed that connotation. But I see it more and more without that subtext more recently. I suspect in 50 years it will be “standard”.)
Similar deal with the singular “they”. Some people still complain about that, even though it’s been in use for a very long time (centuries, I think).
I, for one, am a strong proponent of…well, my username. After all, “bro” can be short for Broseph or Brosephina.
Good point , for some reason I don’t love the term “woman” but I am aware people use female pejoratively probably more often.
That’s interesting, personal question is there an element of dysphoria with it for you at all? Or is it like a word-feel aspect to it?
It took me a while to get to terms with man/woman, mainly because it feels like I’m a grown-up, and then I realised, fuck, I’ll hit 30 soon…
Boy/girl works in informal contexts (“what’s up, old boy”), but I would not like getting called a boy in a condescending way myself. So I decided to go with the more standard words for adult male/female humans, for no reason other than that they are neutral. In my native language, there is no direct equivalent of the nouns male/female, and the one we have sounds like straight out of a David Attenborough narration.