I was just sitting at the mall taking a break from mall walking. A man walked over to me when I wasn’t even looking up. He said "I haven’t seen you here before. " I said I wasn’t really here to talk to people and got up and walked away. He said he would leave, he may even have said sorry. I said I was ready to leave anyway. In retrospect I think he may have just been slightly mentally challenged so I wish I had been a little softer, he did not turn out to be aggressive. Looking for suggestions on something still clear and firm but more polite? This scared me for some reason, I think how fast he walked up and sat down near me.
Editing to add a key detail, he sat down close to me which is probably what made me more nervous than I would have otherwise been. I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I’ve gotten and interesting discussion.
I’m a man and that would be very weird to me as well. You have to first test the waters, see if the other person wants to talk, and if they respond positively, you can have your chat. It is a bit like a negotiation: You need to establish that this monkey will not murder and eat that other monkey, and that that other monkey is not in a barely restrained murdering mood itself. Once that’s out of the way, have your chat.
If that sounds like a sales tactic, it sadly is. Door to door salesmen employ the very “tricks” deliberately, which sucks, but does not make it less valid. We are cursed with a mind that can analyse itself. Things get easier if one accepts that as basic biology.