Americans have no more third places
I have never understood this claim. Do parks and libraries not exist where you live? I live in a pretty rural area, but I can drive to the closest town and hang out in the Public Square all day, and there are always a couple dozen people there as long as the weather is nice. They even host a farmer’s market every Thursday from June to November, and they have an arts and music festival once a month from June to September.
The casino hosts free outdoor concerts in their parking lot every Thursday night from May to September. I’m going to see a Lady Gaga cover band on the 7th, an ABBA cover band on the 21st, and a few others over the course of the summer.
I can hang out in the bookstore for hours without anyone getting mad. They’ve got a nice little cafe if I want an espresso or a yummy pastry, but it’s not required. They also have nice clean bathrooms, which is always a plus.
I could hang out at the mall, but that’s more of a teenager/retiree spot, and I’m not in either of those demographics. My 17 year old granddaughter goes there with her friends a couple times a week though.
I can also go to either one of the two art galleries in town. They showcase local artists, and I’ve seen some amazing artwork there. They occasionally host slam poetry nights, and those are always fun. I’ve made quite a few friends there.
The Public Square I mentioned is also where we had our “No Kings” protest, and it was honestly a blast. Food trucks pretty much surrounded the Square. I must have eaten 6000 calories that day, and at least 2000 of it was delicious lamb kabsa cooked up by the refugees we welcomed into our community a decade ago.
If you’re into nature, we’ve got a shit ton of hiking trails, like, you could hike a new (to you) trail every weekend for a couple years and not run out of trails. I like to go rock climbing, and there are a lot of rocks to climb out here. We’ve got a ton of cricks and lakes to swim in. You can go set up a tent in the woods, and camp for up to 7 days before the State Troopers ask you to move. And even then, you can just move a mile in any direction and you’re good for another week.
And that’s just things that are 100% free of charge. I can drop a few bucks and hang out in a pub, a cafe, the shisha bar, or a comedy club.
I know this one is not a solution for everyone, but I can also hang out at my local Polish American Citizen’s club. We have all sorts of fun events, and they’re all technically free as long as you pay your membership dues ($10/year). We had a pierogi eating contest last week, with a $500 prize. I didn’t win, but I had a great time eating 34 pierogi and it cost me nothing but my membership fee, which I happily pay every year. On regular days, when we’re not having an event, we play dominoes, checkers, cribbage, pinochle, and sometimes chess, but that’s not very popular because no one can beat Piotr, and he ends up basically “owning” the chess board if he’s there, since the winner doesn’t have to leave the table. Spending time with people from my own cultural background is very enjoyable, I always leave happy.
Another solution that is not gonna work for everyone: Getting involved in Church activities. My church has a men’s support group that I am heavily active in (They also have a women’s support group that my wife attends.). We go camping, we go fishing, we have a flag football league, an amateur baseball tournament, we play pool, ping-pong, air hockey, darts, and we host free community BBQs in the summer.
Sorry for the novel, but I am an American, and I have more “third places” than I can even make use of. When I lived in a more urban area, I had even more options. I’ve never lived in the suburbs, only urban (for the first 20 years of my life) and rural (for the past 31 years) areas. Is this specifically a suburban problem?
When I was 3 months old, my mom gave me a wool blanket with two lion cubs on it. I’m 51 now, and I’m currently warm and cozy under that same blanket. It’s honestly my most prized possession.