• AverageEarthling@feddit.onlineEnglish
    181·
    18 days ago

    I was married til I was 38 (now 48). Got divorced, kids were grown, so I dated. A LOT. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you are single after 40, you are a basket case. EVERYone that I dated was crazy. Fun, but crazy. I’m just too old for that now. lol. I’d rather read books and hang out with my cat. And yes, I realize people probably think I’m crazy too. #crazycatgentlemen

  • Asafum@lemmy.world
    101·
    18 days ago

    Nearing 40 in an area with nothing but old rich people, currently renting one of their garage “apartments.”

    Atypical “introverted nerd” type, as in I work in a factory as opposed to the tech field, and am never around people like myself.

    On a 1-10 scale of appearance I’m like 2.5

    But worst of all, my greatest possible sin, I never want to live with a dog. According to the dating profiles I see that eliminated 99.9999999% of them.

    As to why I’ll continue to be single aside from all the above, I gave up ~2 years ago. My last relationship was 10 years ago. Some of us just aren’t desirable to anyone and I just have to accept that.

  • Send Pics of Sandwiches@sh.itjust.works
    6·
    18 days ago

    I’ve lived in the same place for four years, which is the longest I’ve been anywhere since I was 15, and right now I’m not taking care of any dying relatives which has also been a constant over the years, so I’m not in a rush to make any drastic changes to my situation.

      • Vinny_93@lemmy.world
        1·
        15 days ago

        At some point all the fun stuff from a new relationship dies down and most of it just turns into a drag. The deepest conversations you’ll have are about what to eat or whether you’ll be home at a regular time.

        I know this is not the case in all marriages but most of them that end in divorce are merely because it started as something fun, marriage seemed the next logical step and then you’re sort of locked into it, longing back to the excitement of getting to know each other. Being single is pretty much like that unless you never meet new people you have a fun couple of weeks with before never seeing each other again.

  • Tedesche@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    18 days ago

    I decided in my mid-to-late 20’s that I did not want kids and that relationships tend to bring too much stress into my life. And from what I’ve seen from most other people’s relationships and marriages, I do not regret my decision. And these aren’t even bad relationships/marriages. They’re very functional. But there’s still stress and “drama” in all of them. No, thanks.

    • AskewLord@piefed.socialEnglish
      4·
      17 days ago

      Yes, even in happy relationships there is so much extraneous drama injected into ordinary situations.

      I’ve had so many kind gesture towards my partner rejected and shoved back in my face. It’s just not worth it anymore.

      When I buy myself a coffee or flowers, I don’t scream at myself for getting the wrong coffee/flowers, or start ranting how I don’t do this often enough, or that I’m trying to manipulate them… etc etc.

      I just get to enjoy the coffee or the flowers and be at peace and think how pleasant it is. God forbid something just be enjoyable instead of weaponized.

  • HuudaHarkiten@piefed.socialEnglish
    4·
    18 days ago

    I sort of gave up after the last relationship. I can’t be arsed with the dating stuff anymore. If someone comes to my door and tells me that we are now in a relationship, sure, fine. But I’m not gonna bother seeking one out. I have books to read.

  • blarghly@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    18 days ago

    Because I want to be. I have a few casual partners and am regularly looking for others - but I find that I typically put more into relationships than I get out of them.

    I think most people enter into relationships more out of a desire to remove uncertainty in their lives around having companionship (of whatever particular form they desire), and aren’t really being served by the relationship. But in life, uncertainty is the only constant, and we grow as people and can materially benefit by embracing it. So my take is that I will only enter into a relationship where I can reasonably expect that the relationship would serve me in achieving what I actually want in life, rather than simply being a crutch to avoid what I don’t want. And if I am lonely - then I am lonely. Loneliness is unpleasant. Good. One more unpleasant thing to work on acknowlaging and accepting to increase my inner tranquility.

    • AskewLord@piefed.socialEnglish
      2·
      17 days ago

      Yeah that’s a good read. I find most of my dates/partners just want me to fix their money/emotional/esteem problems. But they absolutely have zero interest in solve that for themselves.

      I’m just a means to their ending their own bad habits and internal conflicts. I have no interest in being someone’s parent like that, so the relationship has no basis to continue for either of us.

      Especially as I don’t have any of those conflicts in my own life, and I don’t see any point in bring them into my life.