What’s your take on this?

  • Schwim Dandy@piefed.zip
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    1 month ago

    Are you having a stroke? If so, call emergency services. If not, do some research on sentence structure.

    • wabasso@lemmy.ca
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      1 month ago

      I mean, I understood what they meant. And I’m pretty sure that’s a common way to speak, even though it’s highly informal in writing.

  • disregardable@lemmy.zip
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    1 month ago

    That’s not equal. Women can’t abandon the baby after it’s born either. It takes two to make a baby. Men have the final say over their own bodies just as women do.

    • Zoot@reddthat.com
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      1 month ago

      Genuinely curious, how is it not equal that when abortion is available, the male has no way of saying “I don’t want a child”

      Youre right, it takes two to have a child. Condoms still break, birth control fails, people lie. The entire reason we want abortions to be legal is for the edge cases exactly like this so they don’t have to resort to unsafe pregnancies or having an unwanted child.

      In the US, in some states, even if you try to simply run away the gal is forced to put down any name as the father, and he will be held accountable for the child whether he agreed or not.

      • disregardable@lemmy.zip
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        1 month ago

        Genuinely curious, how is it not equal that when abortion is available, the male has no way of saying “I don’t want a child”

        Because in that case, only one parent can abandon the child. That’s not equal. It’s saying men have no real responsibility for their children, only women do.

        The entire reason we want abortions to be legal is for the edge cases exactly like this

        No, the reason we have abortions is that pregnancy is harmful for women. It cripples you for weeks. It makes you unable to work for months. Women die every year from pregnancy complications. Abortion is about the woman’s right to healthcare, not the insentient clump of cells. Parental rights are about the live baby.

        In the US, in some states, even if you try to simply run away the gal is forced to put down any name as the father, and he will be held accountable for the child whether he agreed or not.

        Which he should be, because it’s his baby. He made it just as much as the woman did. The man’s time to opt out is different from the woman’s because of biology, but he still had the opportunity to opt out.

        • Zoot@reddthat.com
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          1 month ago

          Ahh so you’re just going to victim blame gotcha. You don’t even pretend to have a solution, just that well the man had sex so it’s his fault. Even though my entire message was explicity for the people trapped into this situation similar to how many woman are forced to continue a pregnancy.

          • disregardable@lemmy.zip
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            1 month ago

            That’s literally reality. The baby is the result of a man and a woman having sex, not just the woman. The baby is both parents’ child, not just one’s parent. There isn’t a “solution”, because that’s not a problem. It WOULD be a problem if one could abandon their child with no consequences, which is why they can’t.

            • Zoot@reddthat.com
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              1 month ago

              The woman can make the choice themselves. In a world where the male isn’t forced into subservience, the woman makes a responsible choice about what they want to do before having the child. Simple as. No one is forcing them to have the child, but the woman can force the male to be? Nope sorry, unless you have a solution that doesn’t resort to victim blaming I’m not buying it.

              • disregardable@lemmy.zip
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                1 month ago

                When you punch a wall, you may not be intending for a whole to form, but you still have to pay to fix it. When you have sex, you may not be intending to have a child, but you still have the responsibility to care for it. Because nobody else made the kid, you did. Reality is not victim blaming.

                • Zoot@reddthat.com
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                  1 month ago

                  Your analogy fails since a wall only needs to be repaired once for a single action. I imagine you believe that a man can’t force a mother to have an abortion, so why should a woman be able to force a man to pay her for 18 years, even when he would rather the woman not go through the pain of having a child and having an abortion.

                  Mother doesn’t want to have an abortion? Then they can choose to keep the child with the knowledge that the father didn’t choose to have one.

                  The only reason child support exists in the first place is because the government doesn’t want to pay for people’s kids. If we had safety nets for mothers this wouldn’t even be a topic.

                  You still have not convinced me that men should have absolutely no say in whether or not they have a child after any of the above mistakes are made, they’re forced into it, or lied to. In every other situation I agree, the father made a choice to have a child and should be expected to help. But you’re being disingenuous and saying “All men bad” and not arguing in good faith, so, again, fuck off with your victim blaming bullshit, all you’re doing is making people already agreeing with you not want to agree with you.

      • disregardable@lemmy.zip
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        1 month ago

        That doesn’t change anything. If the child is born, it’s yours, and you can’t abandon it. The child has a right to a parent, and you are the parent.

  • GuyFawkesV@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    While it sounds good that simply pushes the cost of the child, if the mother can’t afford it alone, to you and me. Let’s teach daddy that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and keep him on the hook.

  • Ziggurat@jlai.lu
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    1 month ago

    There is moment where biology comes into play. Pregnancy has major consequences for the person being pregnant . Not for The father, and once the kid is born, laws protects the kid. Having unprotected sex comes with risk, pretty minor compared to BASE jumping or riding a motorcycle but it can have massive lifelong consequences.

    While technically illegal, men abandoning their kids aren’t that uncommon. They’re far on the asshole scale but they exist

  • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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    1 month ago

    Alternative: roll out better options for male contraceptives and make them very easily available. Where the fuck is RISUG/Vasalgel/Plan A for Men?

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      The problem is that women already have a function that makes them nonfertile. Its MUCH easier to simulate that function, and at the end stop simulating it, than to create a completely novel mechanism to make a man nonfertile for a certain amount of time.

      Granted, the pill isn’t exactly great, but there are quite a few options for women, and they all revolve around roughly the same mechanism. The alternative is shoving a mechanical device inside, and getting to the uterus (while exceptionally unfun) is still easier than getting to the testes.

      There’s also a big problem with RISUG like vasalgel (slight conspiracy theory alert here). If you sell a guy vasalgel, it’s a one-time thing. If instead you sell his partner the pill, you get to keep doing that every single day for potentially decades.

  • alsimoneau@lemmy.ca
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    1 month ago

    You’re gonna be down voted to hell but baby trapping is real, it’s rape, and there should be a recourse against it.

    • MrFinnbean@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Lol. Baby trapping, while it is bad, its nothing even closely similar to rape.

      Also gentlemen, if there is possibility of rain, bring your raincoats and remember, its not rude to keep your hat on when going inside. Even if the lady asks you to remove it.

      But i agree that lying about birthcontrol should be punishable.

      • alsimoneau@lemmy.ca
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        1 month ago

        If stealthing is rape (which it is), then so is this. Consent was not given for unprotected sex.

      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        you’re right. trapping a man into providing for a woman and her child for life is nothing like rape.

        I mean rape is a singular incident that causes lifelong repercussions that takes years if not a lifetime to manage. it can financially ruin you. it can steal away your freedom of choice and destroy opportunities you otherwise could have taken.

        🤔 that sounds awfully similar now that I’m thinking about it.

        just FYI, condoms break.

        • MrFinnbean@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Do you feel clever using words to compare physical abuse and taking away other person bodys sovereignty to financially harming other?

          Both are bad and cruel things, but they are not compearable.

          Condoms can break and parachutes can fail, but jumping from the plane without parachute is just moronic.

          • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            Not being clever. it’s the same thing.

            you’re just victim blaming because you refuse to acknowledge that forcing anyone to do something through sex should be considered rape.

            • MrFinnbean@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Did you learn fancy new word to use?

              Im not victim blaming anybody, nor am i saying baby trapping is in any way acceptable, but it definedly is not a rape. And those two crimes are definedly not in any way compareable.

              Your definition would also turn custody disputes in to rape cases.

              • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                that’s quite the amount of confidence for being wrong.

                Many jurisdictions now center the crime on the absence of freely given or affirmative consent and also criminalize sexual acts with persons who cannot legally consent—minors (statutory rape), the intoxicated, the unconscious, or those with certain mental disabilities—so the presence or absence of capacity is often as central as whether force was used.

                source

                by your definition, having sex while intoxicated would not be rape because consent isn’t required. you allowed this by proposing consent is not a requirement to force a man to impregnate a woman.

                by your definition rape itself doesn’t exist.

                • MrFinnbean@lemmy.world
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                  1 month ago

                  Haha. You are really a grade A mental gymnist. Bravo. Here have a star *. You deserve it.

                  I havent said single time anything about how i might or might not define a rape. You on the other hand wanted to broaden the definiton to include baby trapping, a completelly different offence that should be its own thing.

    • starlinguk@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Look, mate, accidents happen. If you don’t want to get a lady pregnant, don’t have sex with the lady.

  • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    I think it should require some proof that there was mutual intent to prevent or end a pregnancy, but otherwise it seems reasonable.

    • BigBolillo@mgtowlemmy.orgBanned from communityOP
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      1 month ago

      Where I am abortion is illegal but I believe where it is legalized it is that way, I mean I don’t believe it is legal to abort with the father being against it.

      My point is supposing it gets legalized it should be both ways, or not?