I’m thinking things like “Same-sung” For Samsung, because all their products look kinda generic and boring, or Ford standing for “Fix Or Repair Daily” because of the engineering and build quality, or “McDiabetes”, for obvious reasons.
I mean microslop is pretty dang good
Less good but also M$
Micro$lop
I usually call them Microshaft
I bet they wish people had stuck with “Micro$oft”
Always remember that Microsoft literally means small and limp.
It’s Microslop now
So, I guess, the same? LOL
There’s a gas station chain called Kum & Go but it’s also referred to as Jizz and Jet or Ejaculate and Evacuate.
Skeet & Yeet
Bust & Bounce
Nut & Bolt
Nut and Bolt is fucking great!
Nut & Bolt is getting added to the repertoire. Something about how the double meaning relies on changing them from two nouns to two verbs tickles something.
Blow Your Load and Hit the Road
Shoot your shot and ride your rod
With a name like that you could say they were screwed from the start.
There could be a whole thread just on the variations of that concept, but the most obvious for a gas station has to be “Pump and Dump”
I believe they just rebranded as Mavericks. At least the ones around me did.
Swasticar
And their premier vehicle, the CyberStuck
I have a queer friend that calls his GMC Yukon his Gay Man’s Chariot. When we go places in it he usually initiates by saying something like “to the chariot”
That is both awesome and the best acronym for GMC I’ve heard. The best one I’d previously hears was Get My Chequebook.
Electronic Farts
Cockstar Games
Ubibad (pronounced You Be Bad)
Micro$haft (pre-MicroSlop era)
Nintendon’t (thank you, SEGA)
Jizzard-Gotnovision
just Electronic
The arts are missing
When I had a Samsung TV, I hated it intensely and printed a label that said “scamsung.” That TV eventually went to the recyclers with that label still covering the Samsung one.
McDonalds→McDicks→McPenis. I’m mature.
Some ppl say “Mc D” or “Micky D” so ive taken to calling it “Mickeys D” or “Mickeys Dicky”
Where I am from we call it MacDuk
Found On Road Dead
Just Empty Every Pocket
Fix It Again Tony
Drips Oil Dirt & Grime Everwhere (or everyday)
Fehler In Allen Teilen (failure in all parts).
Für Italiener ausreichende Technik
Ive heard Fix Or Repair Daily
I prefer “Find Immediate Alternative Transportation”
And wanted to add “Acutely Unreliable Despite Investment”
I prefer “Find Immediate Alternative Transportation”
I haven’t heard that one before! That’s good!
Ford: Fix It Again Tony
That’s Fiyat Dale
Nintendon’t on account of their rabid intellectual property protection and litigious nature.
Works as both what they might say to would-be infringers as well as advice to avoid them. (Which people ignore because Zelda, Mario and childhood memories.)
Sega started that. “Sega does what Nintendon’t.” Going back to the 80s. Maybe 90s.
I don’t ignore it, I’m aware. I buy their stuff regardless because it’s that good.
Delta
Don’t Expect Luggage To Arrive
-or-
Doesn’t Ever Leave The Airport
Walmart = Wally world Target = tarj mahal
Throwing Tar’je in the ring.
Idiots Become Managers
Broadcum
But I’ve also just seen IBM and broadcom be used a verb for price hikes or rug pulls.
“Home Despot” is one of my favs from Joey Santore of crime pays but botany doesn’t.
I’ve heard “Home Desparate” before
Samsung –> Samsucks
PlayStation –> PayStation (Not a company name, but relevant enough)
Edit: more names I came up with (I don’t use all of these but they are reserved in case I have to):
Roblox –> Blowblox
Discord –> Disscord
Apple –> Crapple
McDonald’s –> FakeDonald’s
Dunkin –> Bunkin
Sam’s Club –> Scam’s Club
NoPayStation is software used to download PS games to install on consoles with custom firmware. (I’m not sure if it downloads from PSN or just pirated copies from somewhere.)
There’s a trucking company called Swift that gets a lot of flak for hiring inexperienced drivers. One of the nicer ones is So What I Failed Training. The rudest one I’ve heard ends with Toddlers, you can probably work out the rest, but you probably shouldn’t.
Stevie Wonder Institute For Trucking is my personal favorite
See What I Fucked-up Today is another good one
Sure Wish I Finished Training.
See What I Fucked (up) Today
