I don’t mean like diarrhea, or any medical issue. Last night I had Chinese food. This morning when I woke up, I took a poop first thing in the morning. Just like normal.

Except it just kept going on and on and on. Instead of 2-3 minute poop, wipe and done, this just went on for like 15-20 minutes. It was never ending. Finally, it stopped, and I rested on the toilet seat, just to make sure there wasn’t a round 2. But eventually I didn’t feel anything more, and figured there can’t be a round 2. There’s nothing left in there. So I wiped, flushed and started my day.

About an hour later, I had to poop again. I had not eaten anything since I woke up. I drank a glass of water if that.

I took a second poop, which was about half the size of the first poop. Which is still like twice as much as a standard poop. I was kind of glad this one got delayed. I realized if all this had come out with the first poop, there would be a genuine concern that I may not be able to flush the toilet. It’s too much.

I started thinking about the fact that Elvis died, and had 27 pounds worth of fecal matter in his system, because he was so backed up. Normally my poops are very small.

So it got me wondering. Am I backed up usually, and Chinese food does something to clean my system out? Or is the Chinese food CREATING this much poop all in one go?

Because if it’s clearing out backed up poop, that’s great! And also, something I should look into with a doctor. If the Chinese food is creating this much poop, then I should just stop eating Chinese food.

  • disregardable@lemmy.zip
    30·
    1 day ago

    You probably don’t regularly eat enough grains and vegetables. So on the contrary, rather than eating less Chinese food, you should eat more of it. And more of anything else that gets you to eat more plants.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.worldOP
      412·
      1 day ago

      In recent times, yes, I have been skipping healthy food, because of our current government deciding food doesn’t need to be regulated. Processed food, is somehow the safest option right now.

      Although, there wasn’t any plants in my chinese food. I picked all the vegetables out.

      Now, if I had a safe source of lettuce, I’d be all for it!

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    10·
    1 day ago

    Yup, as everyone already said, it’s that the typical chinese american meal (or even a succulent aussie one) is a relatively well rounded one in terms of fiber and fats.

    While you may or may not have been backed up a little, a decently built meal will go through in eight to ten hours, slide out easy, have good bulk, and also shove anything ahead of it out the door.

    To maximize that effect, you want a balance of soluble and insoluble fiber (like rice alongside cabbage or broccoli, as examples). Soluble fiber holds water well, increasing bulk and helping things stay controlled. Insoluble doesn’t hold water, and is thus a nice accelerant. Too much soluble, and things can get backed up a little; too much insoluble and it all comes out like a nightmare salad dressed with crap and sewage.

    Fats wise, you don’t want things greasy, but you do want it to be present in testable levels. Fats lube you up from the top down (unlike Fats, the big bear bartender at the club that lubes your bottom before going up you). It helps the digested matter slide through. Too little, and things can be difficult to get around corners; too much and imagine the pea soup scene from The Exorcist, only it’s your ass and the soup is filled with diced carrots and tomato skins.

    Chinese food, be it actual Chinese cuisine, or Chinese diaspora variants, tends to be relatively well balanced. Not as well as the prototypical Mediterranean diet, but in terms of bowel motility and excretion, it does well

  • pastaparty@lemmy.zip
    2·
    18 hours ago

    If you got takeout, most likely it was a very high fat content. Anything fried, like an egg roll, could make your bowels move in not a fun way. Especially if you don’t normally eat a lot of fat.

  • spankysalmon@fedinsfw.appEnglish
    3·
    1 day ago

    High fiber content most likely. Fats (like oils used for cooking) and similar can also increase how fast things move through. Also just general different composition if you have a poor variety in your diet (like I do sometimes) can make for more surprises.

    If you don’t normally eat a lot of fiber (like most people should do, especially old people), a sudden influx can really make for some interesting mornings, especially if there’s a lot for your body to clean out.

    It could very well be clearing out some minor backup. You should analyze your diet for recommended amounts of fiber and other similar things and eat more of them, not less.

    The poop doesn’t magically materialize. If you’re pooping more than you ate, you have backup, and should eat more things that keep your bowels going healthily.

    P.S. You should get used to eating cooked veggies. That alone could be a good part of your problems. Some flavors are fantastic and you’re definitely missing out. Even some properly seasoned and baked brussels sprouts are delicious, and a lot of people claim to not like them (although they’ve definitely gotten sweeter and more palatable over the last ~20 years). Broccoli is great in many things, especially Chinese. Carrots are great in pot roasts. Cauliflower is delicious grilled and seasoned. The lists goes on… Though IMO, water chestnuts can fuck right off.