I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
-Fair to middling
-Hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit
-Finer than frog hair
Treat it non-literally. Say ‘How’s it going?’ which turns it into a greeting rather than a question.
I’m awake, but I’d rather not be.
“Still kicking but not screaming!”
just say “Life, ya know” If they are only being polite they’ll answer “for sure” and thats it.
If they really care and want to know theyll ask more and then you can go into more detail.Brought to you by “protocols autistic people have to memorize” lol that being me
“Well enough” if you want to be genuine, but brief and convey that things are not aces.
But usually just mirroring “How are you!” in the same tone as the first part of the greeting establishes that it is a ritual, not a question.
“I’m not sure”
It’s rarely all bad. Then that would be simply the answer. The problem is that it’s often complicated (not the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, for those who get that reference) and idk how to summarise that into a single feeling so I literally don’t know what the answer is and so that’s when you get an idk from me
If it’s just a pleasantry by some english person (in my language this isn’t a standard question a stranger or customer support will ask you) then I’ll probably pick a random euphemism
From Germans I’ve learned that they say “muss”, meaning must. Like, you must get on with life but not because you seek out what you’re going through but because life doesn’t stop. At least that’s my working understanding of this deceptively simple word
“I’ve been worse”
My go-to is the ol Lebowski quote, “Strikes and gutters, ups and downs”
Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you
i am the walrus
“up and not crying”
…that is, if I’m not crying.
It depends on who’s asking.
Generally I like to tell what’s on my mind. Or, if I say stuff is fine, I’ll explain what I’ve been doing lately.
I’m not a person who avoids difficult topics so it’s kinda natural for me to answer “more honestly”.
“As always.” is an old favorite of mine. They’ll assume things are neither particularly good nor bad, when what you mean is that you always feel bad.
I’m usually asked this at work, so my go-to response is, “Well, I’m here.” Which most seem to understand.
My goto is “Every day is better than the next.”
Clever.
Blatantly stolen from There’s something about Mary.
“Better than I deserve”
