I feel this. I used to find computers and the promises of the internet exciting. Then things slowly turned into what they are now, and these days I often can only see everything computer as a layer of bullshit that has been put on top of the real world to keep us in a trance and not engage with reality anymore. But a lot of good things came from being connected as well. Maybe it’s like growing up and finding out a beloved parent was after all slightly abusive. And then see them decline in old age and have their worse traits worsened even more.

Another image that comes to my mind frequently is that of the internet as the haunted shopping mall: It was once a shiny place, everyone went there, it was all the rage. Now most of the shops are boarded up, the few that are left seem rather dodgy, and the only visitors seem to be a bunch of drug addicts hanging out at the bottom of the out-of-service escalators.

Currently I’m a bit lost trying to return to my analog hobbies. I draw, I paint, I play music, I scratch the donkeys. I often don’t have the energy I wish I had to do things other than sit at a screen. Takes time to get used to it again I guess.

Computing itself is fine. I can still do most everything I used to do on my PC pre-popular internet. I have essentially no cloud services on my PC.

However, the internet itself is a dumpster fire. It always was, except you had to deliberately looking for those places and they tended to be isolated back in the day.

Of course monetization destroyed the internet with corporations doing everything possible to carve it up and shove their ads and billionaire-controlled media slant in front of you, and their engagement-bait feeding of lies and giving a platform to controversy and stupidity on social media.

Most all of the good spaces are gone. Very few exist in anything remotely close to their original form, they’ve been corporatized, disappeared, or swallowed up by places like Reddit.

I don’t have any friends or any other hobbies. Financial situation is not so good rn and so even if I wanted to, don’t really feel like spending money for hobby or something.

I don’t really know what others definition of “computing” is but if it’s just about having an Internet addiction, then it’s something I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I didn’t have friends in elementary school but I had access to the Internet while at school and other spaces.

It’s all just coping for me. Without the Internet, I’d probably become the next Luigi or something.

I’ve been online for like, too long to see it decay and rot into the form it has been turned into. My only regret is that I didn’t embrace the early days or the first 15 years I was online for. Tack on 15 more years and I got to watch, albeit slowly, the corrosion take form.

Everywhere I’ve been to is either gone or transformed into a shallow representation of its former self. Everyone I know and knew are growing up and the times we had can’t be replicated anymore or enjoyed similarly. Features are being shoved in that nobody asked for but everyone uses without question. Optimization has taken a back seat, where everything breaks down in a moment’s notice as we’re given empty promises and apologies for it.

The spirit of community has fallen to tribalism and hivemindedness where simply being nuanced is just simply unacceptable anymore. It’s like you MUST pick a side, you MUST say the right opinions, you MUST express yourself justly or you’re whatever the side thinks you are. There is no room for critical thinking.

And every other day, I ask myself “what the fuck am I even doing anymore?” when it comes to being online. I’m just coming online for no other reason than just to check things and waste clicks. Because I’m not enjoying my time anywhere without being constantly reminded about the things I’ve watched the internet become for so long.

There was someone I knew, that when her gaming PC broke down 2 years ago, she decided that it was it for her. She wasn’t tech savvy, she wasn’t glued to the net or computers as much. She’ll use something until it breaks before she decides whether to continue. And when that computer died, she shrugged and decided to move on living as simple as she can be.

I don’t think I’ll go that route when my PC dies, I’ll still have a use for it. But if the internet becomes too expensive or it just plainly isn’t serving its purpose to me as it once did completely, I’ll probably consider it a good run well-lived.

If someone picks up a chair and hits a person with it, is the chair now evil? Should you avoid using chairs because of the potential hurt they can cause? Computers are the same.

Focus on the positive and don’t dwell on the negative. Play games, tinker with hardware and open-source software. Get off platforms like Reddit/Lemmy where negativity is much more pervasive.

Of course, if you find yourself “recoiling from all online spaces” then consider alternative hobbies that give you the same level of satisfaction.

I grew up as a computer nerd kid in the 90s with my first computer being a 386 DX 66mhz off brand IBM PC clone with 8mb ram.

I was put on this earth to do computer stuff no doubt about it. I was the first on my block with dialup. I was the first on my block with DSL. I was the first kid on my block with cable internet. Taught myself C when I was 15 and and a software engineer professionally over a decade without any college education.

With that being said, what we call “AI” (LLMs) completely exhausts me and I have absolutely no interest about AI garbage. I am depressed because AI exists to cheapen literally everything I have a passion for.

When I was young I always wanted to be at the head of technology and always stay up to date with it I’d read books and news daily. Always had a genuine passion for it, but I can’t stand it now.

I just stay stuck in the 90s and play old consoles like PlayStation and N64. That gives me comfort and I know there’s no AI slop in those games.

Any tool can be used for good or for evil. Try not to get sucked into the doom spiral, there are plenty of FOSS and adjacent projects making the world a better place.

I am experiencing the exact same thing, but in my mind it’s a disillusionment not with tech itself but with tech products.

I have my Linux PC set up so that I can use it on the couch at home while hanging out with my family. I have a smart phone, but I consciously try to use it as little as possible.

Now instead of following the details of the next generation of phones/consoles/GPUs/AIs, I like to tinker with existing technology that I haven’t learned yet. And since I work on computer stuff at work all day, I try to spend my time at home doing analog stuff based in the real world, ideally outdoors even if that means my own yard.

I went into welding.

Leaving IT. Gardening. Trading pc nerdery for soil science nerdage.

Make your shit work for you again. Learn to self-host and embrace open source.

I’m getting more involved in that I’m discovering more open source projects that I can support.

Open source really gives me hope. Instead of a profit motive, communities form and work together out of passion and dedication to a project or idea.

That’s really invigorating to me. And, in many ways, can often be a big fuck you to our capitalist overlords. I’m working on presentations and such to teach my friends and spread the word about various projects and better op sec to make it all the harder to harvest our data.

We should built our own internet, with blackjack and hookers!

My parents got a new car and they thought I’d be impressed that it has an iPad for a dashboard and knows who’s driving by using your phone.

And 20 years ago that would have been cool. But now? Now all I see is data harvesting, bad UI, and expensive repairs that must be done at the stealership.

Tech used to be something fun and new, that gave you freedoms and abilities you never thought were possible. But now it’s just another way for companies to ship expensive crap and exploit us. I’d much rather have my dumb car that makes fart noises and won’t even shift without my help.

One thing I did like is that the interior door handles are well-made and easily accessible.

im not sure how i will / am dealing with it, but i know its not great