Nostalgia isn’t only a hell of a drug, but it’s a hell of an addiction too. Chasing times when you last felt good or when you felt things were right. Getting in touch with old flames that you forgot that there were reasons you moved on from, until you read the painful endings as to why those connections died.
Having those rose-tinted shades aren’t always good for you.
Losing my temper has paid off maybe once in life.
People are tribal and incredibly cruel
We’re all idiots.
Choice is an illusion. So is destiny.
Never trust a fart.
you don’t have to follow the law. you just have to not get caught.
break the law enough and you can break bigger laws without getting caught.
break enough bigger laws and you can just buy or threaten yourself out of jail.
laws, like door locks, keep the honest honest.
High ambition is over rated. Those that hustle have the same mentality as a cat chasing its own tail, they can never arrive. All there is is now.
Life is essentially a sandbox video game. There’s no right way to play the game and you don’t have to do what others are doing - you can do your own thing. If you do what everyone else does you get what everyone else has. Do you want that? I don’t.
More specifically, life is a rogue-like. You get what you get and have to try to make the most of it. You might beat a very difficult stage and get a shot reward for it and that’s just the luck of the roll. Some will get lucky with a legendary that makes their run very easy. You likely won’t and still need to carry on even if you get an anti-synergy. No one is coming to help, this is for you to do.
More specifically, Binding of Isaac really resonated with me and I think I took away a lot of life lessons.
Regarding pets, enjoy the time you have together and save the mourning for when they’re six feet under. I was sad about the aging of my dog, but realized that to her, humans are basically immortal constants of love and comfort. Looking at it that way made me feel a bit better.
Speaking of addictive thought processes, maladaptive daydreaming. I’ve half joked about it over on !worldbuilding@lemmy.world, but it really is addictive. Recently I realized it’s not healthy to reject reality and substitute my own. Even if my reality has mechs and this one doesn’t :(
Mechs ftw.
I dig giant robots!
You dig giant robots!
We dig giant robots!
Chicks dig giant robots!
Small talk is actually really easy. Just ask questions and then questions about what you heard. Hopefully they’ll be good at conversation and ask you as well, but it’s okay to be a little one sided.
Never trust an addict. You might love them, they might be family, but their drug of choice will always be more important than you.
Only commit one crime at a time. Make sure you don’t have a headlight or turn signal out or speed if you’ve got something in the car you’re not supposed to. Being a person of color counts as a crime if you live in the south or a large city.
Authority must be questioned. Just because they’re your boss, a cop, or a politician doesn’t make them automatically right or justified. This also extends to subject matter experts whose qualifications, methodologies, and other bona fides should be interrogated.
You will have regrets for some of the things you didn’t do, but also some of the things you did. Choose the exciting risk over the boring comfort and you’ll have fewer.
You will have regrets for some of the things you didn’t do, but also some of the things you did. Choose the exciting risk over the boring comfort and you’ll have fewer.
This last line is such good advice
drinking and smoking is a waste. sooner you quit the better. glad i quit 20 years ago or i wouldn’t be typing this. addictions kill
I agree. I’ll be one year sober in 5 days :)
Always get it in writing.
And the corollary, read the damned writing.
There are always additional choices available beyond the ones presented to you. They may not be optimal, but they are yours and they are there. And a principled choice with negative consequences can still be worth it. People get emotionally invested into all sorts of stupid shit, or never question why something is the way it is, or never express curiosity for alternatives. And you simply don’t need to accept these people’s framing for anything. It is even a parenting technique using the illusion of choice on children to force a decision that was never a choice to begin with.
It is even a parenting technique using the illusion of choice on children to force a decision that was never a choice to begin with.
I raised my children to be unafraid to question or challenge authority. And I fucking regret it. I hope they’re happy I did in ten years but it sucks right now.
There are three rules that I live by:
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Never get less than twelve hours sleep
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Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city
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and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.
Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
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You don’t get to choose what happens to you in life, but you get to choose how you feel about it.
Life is short, just enjoy every bit you can.
And if you don’t feel like you can choose your reactions, get therapy.
Stoicism is good
As a white man, even when I’ve got it rough, my life is 20 times easier than if I was anything else. Women can’t even walk down the street without at least the thought a man they walk by might suddenly rape them. A black man can’t walk down the street without worrying about a cop deciding it’s their day to die. Meanwhile, I can walk down the street and not worry about a damn thing other than my heart rate.
It pains me daily that I can’t fix it. It pains me more that men that look just like me have done those awful things and will do those awful things and I’m looked down on by everyone that isn’t a straight white man because of it. And I’m still better off than the vast majority of folks, even though I have trouble paying rent most months.
So, the life lesson I’ve learned? Don’t leave the apartment. Seems to work pretty well for me.
Real heart wrenching moment realizing women fearing being murdered on their walk home is a euphemism for being raped. They’d rather describe being stabbed and mugged.
Being aware of it is the first step to actually helping a little bit. e.g. I’ll cross to the other side of the street if I am walking past a woman at night, but even just not being a total arsehole puts you in the top 50% of the male population.
