A girl. An ultimatum. I left. We’ve been married 26 years.

I win.

My parents are difficult. Not the worst people and not monsters, but at many times unpleasant.

Plus it was a house in the suburbs. Not ideal for socializing or culture.

And lastly, living with parents in the suburbs would be huge negatives for dating.

My job. After university I couldn’t get a job in my field. So I had to sell my body. Had to move to the other side of the country.

Everything reminded me of her. I had to leave

My mom sold the house.

I was the youngest of three, and my parents told us all that as long as we were in school (including college), we could stay and they would pay for college. My brothers both got the benefit of this (oldest ended up staying outside of that for a couple years, but whatever).

My dad died in August after my graduation. My mom and aunt had inherited some money from my great-aunt and bought a house together near a college my mom wanted to go to, so she sold the childhood home (that I’d lived in my entire life) and said “good luck.”

Completely understandable, and I’m glad she got to live the life she wanted. She’s a nurse now (mostly retired, can’t seem to make it stick), remarried, and they’re building their own house. And my aunt now lives in the house they bought.

And I’m doing awesome (40s, two kids, wife of 16 years, set to retire in a town in Alaska we love, own our own house), honestly a lot better off than either of my brothers, so I can’t complain about how anything happened, other than wishing my dad was around longer.

My mom kicked me out when I was 17. She wasn’t mad exactly just had a lot to deal with. My dad had died the year before and she had 3 other kids to deal with and I guess figured I’d land on my feet. That took several years, lol but a satisfying arc I suppose, from desperately poor to quite comfortable. I am in the same city still, in a part of town I like more.

My kids, I let them stay until they want to leave, if there’s room. Between me & my husband we have so many but only 2 left at home, plus a girlfriend of one of them. The couple plans to move into their own place in the summer (we are in winter now) then we will be down to one.

I knew my dad and I would kill eachother if I didn’t. Moved out pretty much as soon as I turned 18. It was a struggle but it had to happen. My parents have since divorced and I havent spoken to my father in almost five years. I found out semi recently that my parents agreed to stay together until my sisters and I were moved out. They got divorced a few months after the youngest left. I’m 31 now.

I was an atheist, socialist learning, bisexual pacifist in a family of young earth creationists that even in the mid 90s would get frothy mouthed angry at the history of Vietnam veterans being spat at.

I enjoyed learning, my step father hadn’t read a book since he was 17. I wanted to live in a pedestrian friendly city, my parents encouraged me to yell “jap-junk” at people riding japanese motorcycles.

I started learning how to code when I was 10, and my homeschoolimg books were bought from a fundamentalist church in Florida that required memorizing bible verses for math and history class.

It was a choice of leave or suicide.

I didn’t live in a house with ‘people who worked there’ and it was small enough that I wanted to be in a different space with friends.instead of hearing everything family members were doing. Might have been different if I grew up in a large house with staff.

I left to go to college. Came back when my mother’s life fell apart and she begged for help, so I tried to be the good son. About 6 months after going back I left again because I couldn’t do anything right (as usual), my mother had allowed two different people to drive my vehicles and both times they were wrecked, and she got physical with my girlfriend and I when I put my foot down over anyone else driving a vehicle we were attempting to lease. Ended up having a restraining order against her for my girlfriend that my mother violated a couple times early on.

After a couple years ended up being stuck living with my mother again. Had a child born 3 months premature who passed at 9 days old. He had an intestinal blowout and never stopped bleeding after surgery. His blood gasses were toxic so my wife and I took him off the ventilator. My mother told me I was stupid and should have waited. I was dealing with major depression at the time and my mother unbeknownst to me stopped paying her bills so we ended up homeless together. During this time my mother finally told me the truth about never wanting me her words were “I had my whole life planed out” she went on to talk about her training to become a traveling stripper then said “and then I had you.” The way she said it was full of contempt, she was drunk but let’s be honest that’s generally when the truth really comes out.

Ended up getting away and half way across the country and stayed away from all family members. My mother still tried playing games by contacting the local sheriff’s repeatedly for “wellness checks.” The checks finally stopped at one point but probably because I made sure to make the idea I was living in New York City get to her.

I look back and see a ton of things that she did to me now. When I was around 9 she stored a leaking 5 gallon bucket of paint thinner in my bedroom closet even though there was a basement and detached garage that would have been a better place. I still have no idea what problems that caused.

Ho Chi Minh city was too cramped and hot so I moved to a cold and sparsely populated city called Rovaniemi.

Plus my mom was pretty controlling on many aspect of my life, and studying abroad was one “mom-approved” way to be independent.

When I was 19 I went to a sort of social pedagogy boarding school thing that we have in the Nordics, after that I got drafted and did alternative service, after that my brother had long since moved into my room, so moving back home wasn’t really on the table – at least not as I saw it.

Went to work at the same big box as mom as a teenager (15) for extra cash. Mom started having an obvious affair right in front of me. Well it wasn’t super obvious (I later learned I was good at observing behavior), but I told Dad. After that she no longer hid her hate for me, blamed me, etc. It was stressful to say the least. I ran away and stayed at a friend/old neighbors house for several months, because dad was a cream puff and it destroyed him, he couldn’t raise anything at that time. I tried going back at 16-17 but the rules were oppressive after living essentially on my own and working, and mom and her boyfriend hated me, so I found a older boyfriend to live with and never returned “home” as I felt like I was basically an adult. 🤦‍♀️

*15-16ish.

My stepfather is an absolute piece of shit and constantly would berate us for anything. My name was idiot, jerkoff, douchebag, anything but my actual name. “It’s just a joke” was always the defense. So immediately as I’m graduating highschool he says I have to pay market rate for rent to stay there so I said fuck that why would I pay market rate to get abused?

I split the blame 50/50, but I do blame him for my never finishing college. I know people have done it sleeping in cars and whatnot, which is why I partially blame myself as well. Now I work in a factory…

I wanted to go to college far enough away that my parents couldn’t reasonably visit without calling first.