World is an absolute shit show with no signs of improving, personal life just keeps turning upside down, everything makes me terminally tired. I am trying to remain positive and be a positive force for others. I do stuff to make me feel better, like art, take walks, talk to a therapist, grow plants, community work - and I do manage to squeeze a tiny happiness out of my activities but it doesn’t seem to be worth the effort. I try to connect with people and quite a few people actually seem to like me but socializing makes me feel exhausted. I catch myself thinking “Let the fucking war arrive and burn it all down” and that’s terrifying stuff to carry in one’s own head. I just feel I’m part of the overpopulation and that there’s no point of existing.
I have a kid and don’t want them to be sad because their crazy parent offed themselves and that’s all that keeps me going.
Those of you feeling like this: what keeps you going?
Things are rough, but I’ll have all the time in the world to rest when I’m dead. So why not give it my all and see where it takes us?
The knowledge that western domination over the world is crumbling, that neolibarlism is becoming discredited, and that the capitalist system is imploding. Meanwhile, there’s plenty of positive news coming out China every day. China is building infrastructure, transitioning off fossil fuels, and improving the standard of living for its people. China is showing what an alternative cooperative model of development looks like, one that’s not based on constant war and exploitation.
“The horrors persist, yet so do I”. The world sucks, but I have things I care about, people I love, some wonderful cats. And I’m not gonna let a fucked up world take that away from me without a fight
I guess I do have some people? Lack of object permanence doesn’t help the situation very much. Who can prove my loved ones even exist when they are not here?
If you unironically have trouble believing in the persistance of things outside of your own immediate senses, please go talk with your therapist more.
That’s kind of base level underpinnings of your existence and how you interact with the rest of the world shit.
This feels like psychologist or neurologist territory.
It doesn’t have to be people per se, find what brings you those sparks of joy in your life and don’t let them go.
My kids and my partner, they’re amazing and they all think the world of me.
That, also cat and dog. I am the feeder, brusher, vet-taker. Mr. Meowmeow and Ms. Fluffy would be very sad. That won’t do at all.
It’s not about what keeps me going, it’s about what can get me to slow down to survivable speeds.
Oh I love this one! I’m all for slowing down!
trying to emigrate. I can’t die here this sad and this alone. I’m motivated by self hate and a delusion that since I was happy one time it could happen again
Trying to find somewhere quite like here but not entirely, just so I can get busy with the relocating and building something new. It’s a hack, but an interesting one. Of course, on the other side of the fence we’ll meet our face in the mirror yet again.
that sounds a little harder than what I’m trying to pull off. I heard there’s this super secret scumbag lifehack where if an autistic person picks a country different enough from their own, their social symptoms tend to just appear as average immigrant idiosyncrasies.
I’m pretty repulsed by my own country’s culture so I’m hoping I’ll be spared that “grass is always greener” fallacy that tends to befall other expats.
Unfortunately I already played my “going to another country where it’s all better” card 25 years ago, and because of that didn’t even notice I was autistic for quite some time, so there’s some truth in that.
At this point I can report that I’m repulsed by my native country’s culture, my country of residence’s culture, and probably that of any other country once I learn enough about it. So my main criteria for finding a new place at this point are “Small affordable house with a garden for rent, understand the language at least a little, rural area in the mountains without too many fascists, not too dry and hot”. Let the other expats have all the beaches and leave me alone.
I find suicide distasteful and seek glory.
Spite. Spite and rage.
That does it for me on some days, and by the amount of likes it seems to be quite a common thing. If only I could channel the spite and rage away from the internet into real life. Found a nice motorway bridge and thought about hanging up some protest banner - but then people would read it and that’s all. Need to accumulate more rage before acting, maybe until I’m angry enough to put up a strongly worded protest banner.
Nice try fed agent, you are not getting my will to live
But I need it for myself!
erm sir the radiation levels are way too high here XD
You’re not getting promoted glowie
What keeps me going is dogs because I love canids they are so adorable. But also because I love computers and shi and doing cool hacky shit on it. Idgaf about the state of the world. Sure some random western giant decided to bomb huge regional power in hot oil land but honestly that just motivates me to make the most out of whatever the hell I have. It’s like that phenomenon where the world feels like it’s gonna end so you might as well go crazy and do a bunch of shit you always wanted done. Another thing that keeps me going is cute anime huzz 😩😩😩
I have a kid and don’t want them to be sad because their crazy parent offed themselves and that’s all that keeps me going.
That’s some real shit bruh keep it pushing also the fact that you even have a kid in the first place is a big W
The idea that maybe in the future i will be in a better place than now, that i’ll be financially stable and i’ll work a job that i like and where i can keep a good balance between it and my personal life. (Im beyond delusional)
“Mom would be sad” was basically the only thought that carried me through my most suicidal years. So I guess it’d be “kid would be sad” for you. In any case fake it 'til you make it if all else fails, that was what they taught us in dialectical behavior therapy by the way of willingness & half-smile (or at least that is how I internalized it). Another thought that has been keeping me going since those suicidal years is “this too shall pass” with or without the additional “away” in the end, by which I have come to understand the transient nature of everything; the only constant is change, and it is inevitable. This combined with some personal growth in understanding of global geopolitical and economical concepts (straight up communism bro) has lead me to believe that better times are indeed coming, and although it may not be us alive right now who will be here to see those better days, we should not lose hope for the future. Someone once said that “wise men plant trees under whose shade they will never rest” or something, so I’d maybe encourage you to pick up again your hobbies that you listed: art, walks, talking, plant growing and community work and try to focus on what’s at hand, not what has been or could be or is somewhere else. You cannot affect any of those, so why worry about them?
I understand that the current global political and economical unrest is scary, but if it’s not currently threatening your life (or say your kid’s life) or stopping you from enjoying the things you are doing currently then it’s not really worth worrying about those, is it? I myself found help through DBT, it’s a long-form therapy used among others for emotional dysregulation disorders – like borderline personality disorder (that’s me!) – but it has many concept I believe should be in standard school curriculum globally, and the resources are available online as well as in print.
In any case, I hope the best for you. Raising children in the current global situation is no doubt incredibly anxiety inducing, and though it is good to stay strong for your children, it isn’t advisable to suffer because of your children so to say. It is good that you evidently know how to ask for help, and probably are capable to receive it.
The mitochondria.
The prospect of leaving behind a man’s corpse if I were to die now.
take my energy, blahaj ✊ evolve to your next form
Responsibility mostly, no kids thank God but animals would suffer.
