I’ll just say it’s an obituary and be confident that I won’t need to say more.
There’s an old Soviet joke:
A man goes to a newspaper stand every day, buys a copy of Pravda, glances at the front cover, curses, and throws it away.
After a few weeks of this the seller just has to ask what’s going on: “why do you always look at the cover but never inside?” “I’m looking for an obituary.” “An obituary? But those are in the back!” “Oh no, the obituary I’m looking for will be on the front page.”
Turns out I just posted this further up the page with different wording. 🙃
“Ram prices plummet- Solid state memory overstock reaching critical levels”
“RAM manufacturers spotted handing out DIMMs in on the street to alleviate oversupply issues.”
“Every single AI company declared bankruptcy, all of their executives received the instant death penalty, and Donald Trump died a slow agonizing death over a 92-hour period.”
Trump sentenced to 400 years solitary confiment after being found guilty.
Drug found that can extend life to 500 years.
A quick death is too good for some
heheheh
I think a lot of us are waiting for the same headline.
There is someone who works a new stand. Everyday an elderly man walks up to the stand, looks at the news papers and the walks of in disgust.
Eventually the worker stops the old man and asks him “Why do you do that every day?”
The old man says “I am looking for a specific obituary.”
The worker says “But the obituaries are in the back on the new paper.”
The old man says “Not this one.”
I check headlines everyday for the big win. Everyone at work is planning a huge party for when it happens. If I happen to be off shift that day I’ll be dancing in the streets with everyone else.
They don’t make a beer mug big enough for the celebration that will ensue after he dies.
In rapid succession:
-
Sustainable energy now open-source
-
Rewilding commons yields global benefits
-
Atmospheric CO2 reaches pre-industrial levels
-
World Food Programme ends human hunger
-
World Rejoices in universal debt jubilee
-
Humanity achieves intergenerational wealth for all
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First Contact Consensus: Together, We Ascend
Wish to see that at least in my dream
-
Russia defeated in Ukraine
“Putin Dead”
Too easy… “Putin sentenced for life in Hague tribunal”
For that we have to let poland of its leash
The thing that saddens me isn’t a headline like that, it is that there will be more like him afterwards. :(
Power vacume like in the 90s i suppose. All depends how and when he dies
“Donald Trump, Disgraced President of the USA, Dead at 81”
…twice impeached and convicted of 34 felonies…
I’d rather see him in jail, but this is the next best thing.
That Man Is Dead!
That disgusting thing isn’t a man.
Dehumanisation is the fascist playbook. Don’t be like them.
he’s dead
On weekends, we hear fireworks occasionally on the weekends. We assume it’s for whatever sports game is in season.
But I always check the headlines real quick
Obituary for CEOs of AI companies
“AfD Banned”
When is the ORANGE OBITUARY!
“US Government collapses”
