A mouthful of expired chocolate milk.

I bought a bottle of choccy milk at a gas station, got one for my kiddo too. I go to take a swig and its… chunky and stringy. I went back to the store and they exchanged both bottles of milk. They had to go find two that weren’t expired.

I just make my own at home now.

My girlfriends ass

A Zararan’s Cajun chicken Alfredo freezer meal…that had been in the un-freezable, non-refrigerated cabinet two weeks.

My wife…gods bless her, was trying to feed me dinner…and found that in the cabinet… after having put it there during our last grocery stock up, not realizing it required freezing. In her defense, it was a grocery order and the item was not something we ordered, so she didn’t know the particulars of it, and it wasn’t cold upon arrival.

After microwaving, she brings me the plate and a fork and I notice the smell is…unique, but me being hungry and not overly picky though “meh…Cajun seasoning…I guess” so i stir the sauce into the noodles and then lick the fork, as one does, preparing to consume.

The weirdest part, is it was fucking sour. Not sour like spoiled, sour like a million warheads sour. I stopped… looked at the stuff, looked at my wife and shuddered. “This is weird…why is it sour?” I said…still not dawning on me that my wife would attempt to poison me so obviously. She disappears and I sit there, with the offending offering on the table in front of me. “Am I brave enough to eat this? I don’t like wasting food…” goes through my head at about the same time as my wife, pale faced and trembling, rushes in and grabs it hollering “don’t eat that! It was supposed to be frozen!”

I’ve eaten ass

Friend gifted me some of this, and it’s truly awful.

Balut

Well, there was natō, which is just slimy fermented soybeans. Had a taste like rotten sick and a texture like milky mucus covering half-mushed beans.

Not a fan of sea urchin either.

Also eaten a few expired food items that made me very wary of repeats, and usually put me off the food in question for at least a year. Rotten fruit cup that tasted like acetone, slimy off ham, chunky lemon milk.

Last, I once tried to cook a ham hock in beans. Recipe came out tasting like what I imagine stewed human flesh would taste like. Just wrong. Couldnt say exactly why, but nothing about the smell or taste told me it was edible. It was the most visceral “you’re-eating-a-dead-thing” feeling i’ve ever gotten.

An ant that I ate

Oh! This happened last week. It was a mocktail featuring iced matcha and espresso foam. It reminded me of the most disgusting thing that’s ever gone into my mouth by accident.

Probably not the worst, but I once ate a massive spoonful of flour thinking it was icing sugar.

A turd.

Scallops

Malort

Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I’ve actually tried accidentally… dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is

dare we say, sippable

We do not.

A sip of one of those bottles with a snake on really strong liquor. The moment it hit my tongue I knew I fucked up. Tasted like death and I had to run to the toilet because I had to instantly throw up. Was nauseous for an hour after. 0/10 experience would not recommend. I knew I should have known I fucked up when the owner of said bottle looked absolutely mortified when I took the sip haha.

hair, sand, all sorts of medicines without capsules, fish bones, this flavor will stay with me for a long time🤢